Joe Simpson: Anal Pusher

After selling the photo rights to his daughter Ashlee’s unborn child and then leaking Ashlee and Pete Wentz’s secret wedding date to the press. Father / Super Manager Joe Simpson sent out a press release today announcing that Ashlee and Pete are going to be trying anal. According to Joe, his daughter Ashlee has been ..

HIV contracts Amy Winehouse

**World Exclusive** **Must Credit CelebJihad.com** Celeb Jihad can now confirm that the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, commonly known as HIV, has contracted Amy Winehouse. Sources close to HIV say that the virus has been inconsolable since it received the diagnosis last Friday. “This is something that you think only happens to other diseases: Gonorrhea, HPV, maybe ..

Rob Lowe in Hot Water Again

LOS ANGELES – Actor Rob Lowe is in trouble again for alleged misconduct with an employee. This time it’s the Lowe’s former gardener Manuel Sanchez who is filing suit. The lawsuit, filed Thursday in Santa Barbara, Calif., says, ” Mista Lowe put his hando inside my el pantos and strummed my chalupa like a mariachi ..

Police Discover ‘Full House of Horrors’

**World Exclusive** **Must Credit CelebJihad.com** San Francisco, CA – Danny Tanner, former co-host of the popular morning show Wake Up, San Francisco, has confessed to imprisoning his daughter in a cellar for 13 years and keeping her as a sex slave. The daughter, Michelle Tanner, disappeared in June of 1995 at the age of 9, ..

Gary Coleman is a Stuck-Up Piece of Shit

Here is a hot tip from Joey Del Vecchio Hoboken, NJAy how you guys doin? I was driving down the Jersey turnpike the other day and I stopped at one of those fuckin rest stops to use the little girls room, ayyy. So I walk into the stall and who do I see floating in ..

Fox In Talks With John Mark Karr For New Show

We’re hearing that Fox executives are close to finalizing a deal with John Mark Karr to have him host a new game show. You may remember that John Mark Karr made headlines 2 years ago as the loveable prankster who pretended to be the killer of JonBenet Ramsey. The new show will allow Karr to ..

George “Stink Balls” Clooney

According to a source close to the situation, Hollywood stud muffin George Clooney has contracted a nasty case of “stink balls”. Our source describes their pungent smell as “similar to brie rotting on a big pile of flamingo vomit”. No commit yet from the Clooney camp

Don Swayze’s Courageous Vow

NORTH HOLLYWOOD – International heartthrob Don Swayze held a press conference today at his sprawling 2-bedroom estate in North Hollywood. Don stated that as a symbolic act of defiance towards the cancer that will surely kill his ugly and less talented brother Patrick, he will eat Patrick’s womanly pancreas when he passes.Thus proving once again ..

Wilmer Valderrama’s Secret Revealed

Celeb Jihad has uncovered a closely kept Hollywood secret! Wilmer Valderrama’s remarkable ability to land beautiful Hollywood starlets has been well documented. From Mandy Moore to Jennifer Love Hewitt his list is impressive, but it has remained a mystery how this lispy possible Mexican can pull A-list ass.Well the mystery is solved. We have learned ..

Is Rosie O’Donnell’s Chin Pregnant?

LOS ANGELES – If the “baby bump” on her neck is any indication, Rosie O’Donnell’s chin is pregnant. The actress, comedian, and talk show host created a stir earlier this month when she appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America with a “noticeably pregnant bulge” on the bottom of her jaw. O’Donnell ignored reporters’ questions regarding ..

Brody and Lauren’s Steamer of Love?

We caught up with Lauren Conrad from MTV’s “The Hills” coming out of a Fuddruckers on Sunset Thursday night. Our reporter on the scene inquired about Lauren’s on and off again relationship with male socialite Brody Jenner.”Things with Brody are going really good right now. He stumbled over to my place just the other night. ..