Police Discover ‘Full House of Horrors’

**World Exclusive** **Must Credit CelebJihad.com** San Francisco, CA – Danny Tanner, former co-host of the popular morning show Wake Up, San Francisco, has confessed to imprisoning his daughter in a cellar for 13 years and keeping her as a sex slave. The daughter, Michelle Tanner, disappeared in June of 1995 at the age of 9, ..

Gary Coleman is a Stuck-Up Piece of Shit

Here is a hot tip from Joey Del Vecchio Hoboken, NJAy how you guys doin? I was driving down the Jersey turnpike the other day and I stopped at one of those fuckin rest stops to use the little girls room, ayyy. So I walk into the stall and who do I see floating in ..

Fox In Talks With John Mark Karr For New Show

We’re hearing that Fox executives are close to finalizing a deal with John Mark Karr to have him host a new game show. You may remember that John Mark Karr made headlines 2 years ago as the loveable prankster who pretended to be the killer of JonBenet Ramsey. The new show will allow Karr to ..

George “Stink Balls” Clooney

According to a source close to the situation, Hollywood stud muffin George Clooney has contracted a nasty case of “stink balls”. Our source describes their pungent smell as “similar to brie rotting on a big pile of flamingo vomit”. No commit yet from the Clooney camp

Don Swayze’s Courageous Vow

NORTH HOLLYWOOD – International heartthrob Don Swayze held a press conference today at his sprawling 2-bedroom estate in North Hollywood. Don stated that as a symbolic act of defiance towards the cancer that will surely kill his ugly and less talented brother Patrick, he will eat Patrick’s womanly pancreas when he passes.Thus proving once again ..

Wilmer Valderrama’s Secret Revealed

Celeb Jihad has uncovered a closely kept Hollywood secret! Wilmer Valderrama’s remarkable ability to land beautiful Hollywood starlets has been well documented. From Mandy Moore to Jennifer Love Hewitt his list is impressive, but it has remained a mystery how this lispy possible Mexican can pull A-list ass.Well the mystery is solved. We have learned ..

Is Rosie O’Donnell’s Chin Pregnant?

LOS ANGELES – If the “baby bump” on her neck is any indication, Rosie O’Donnell’s chin is pregnant. The actress, comedian, and talk show host created a stir earlier this month when she appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America with a “noticeably pregnant bulge” on the bottom of her jaw. O’Donnell ignored reporters’ questions regarding ..

Brody and Lauren’s Steamer of Love?

We caught up with Lauren Conrad from MTV’s “The Hills” coming out of a Fuddruckers on Sunset Thursday night. Our reporter on the scene inquired about Lauren’s on and off again relationship with male socialite Brody Jenner.”Things with Brody are going really good right now. He stumbled over to my place just the other night. ..

An Open Letter From Brad Pitt’s Penis

Dear Brad, What the fuck? What in God’s holy name are you doing to me? Have you lost your mind? You’re Brad fucking Pitt! The Sexiest Man Alive! You have a gift for which any man would gladly give his left testicle. All you have to do is snap your fingers, and any woman on ..

Corky Facts

By now everyone has heard the Chuck Norris facts. There have even been copycat Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Lost in all this hype are the facts about the greatest American hero of America. Of course I am talking about Corky from the hit TV series “Life Goes On”. Corky wears a helmet not ..

10 Things I Hate(d) About Heath

There are five stages of grief. When I heard that Heath Ledger had died I skipped stages one through four and moved straight on to stage five: acceptance. Apparently I was alone. It’s been well over a week since Heath caught the dragon, but I still have to listen to Mary Hart and her ilk ..