Ariana Grande Teaches Teens How To Lose Weight

With the obesity epidemic in the United States reaching historic highs, Nickelodeon will be running the above public service announcement with teen star Ariana Grande, teaching teens how to lose weight.

Ariana Grande has been using the above weight loss technique for years, and she is happy, well-liked, and attractive. American youths, especially teen girls, would be wise to follow her example.

Unfortunately most American teen girls are tremendous whores and have long ago lost their gag reflex, so bulimia is not an option for them and they are destined to a life of being chunky monkeys.

I believe Nickelodeon’s only hope is to get to kids early by running this Ariana Grande PSA on Nick Jr. May I suggest after “Max and Ruby” but before “Dora The Explorer”.