Heidi Montag’s Problems Are All Everyone Else’s Fault

American “person” Heidi Montag has recently taken a few moments away from her day job of existing to let everyone know that she was tricked into turning herself into a somehow-more-vapid Barbie doll by her dead plastic surgeon, Frank Ryan. The same dead plastic surgeon Frank Ryan that she referred to as an “angel” when ..

Dumb Americans Believe Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Split

Let me spell it out for you people. I’ll type s-l-o-w-l-y. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did NOT split up and they are NOT getting a divorce. Oh I know they said they are “separating”, but I also have a normal number of chromosomes so I know an obvious publicity stunt when I see one. ..

Heidi Montag’s Sister Performing Stand-Up Comedy Video

I don’t think I’m really going out on a limb here by saying this, but Heidi Montag is the most talented comedian of our generation. She is so committed to her craft that she underwent over a dozen plastic surgery procedures to hilariously alter her appearance and become a walking punchline for all to enjoy. ..

Heidi Montag’s New Plastic Surgery Face

Pictures of “The Hills” star Heidi Montag after having 10 different plastic surgery procedures done to her face and body have been released. Heidi looks fantastic! Who was the witch doctor that performed these miracles on her face? There is nothing more aesthetically pleasing then a woman who is incapapable of showing any form of ..

Spencer Pratt is Still Delusional

As if not enough people in America hated him already, Spencer Pratt has decided to legally change his name to King Spencer Pratt. He told Us Magazine, “I’ve decided since there is a Queen of England and a Prince William that there should be a king of America. I nominate myself for that role.” He ..

Heidi Montag’s Performance At The Miss Universe Pageant

Heidi Montag Pratt performed at the Miss Universe Pageant last night. And by performed I mean she trotted her horse face around the stage, while lip-syncing to a heavily computerized version of her screeching in a studio. When is Spencer going to do us all a favor and stuff Heidi in a suitcase (just remember ..

Heidi Montag’s Playboy Pictures

Well the moment we’ve all been dreading is here. Heidi Montag’s Playboy pictures are out, and it is official Hugh Hefner is completely senile. Hef paid Heidi “Horse Face” Montag to appear in Playboy clothed. If anyone gets even remotely aroused from these pictures you have a problem. A stiff breezes has more of a ..

Heidi and Spencer Promote Heidi’s Playboy Debut

Heidi and Spencer showed up at the premiere of “G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra” yesterday to promote Heidi’s upcoming issue of Playboy. Honestly I could not write anything funnier then what these two actually said, so I’ll just provide the quotes. I don’t know why there is such animosity towards Heidi and Spence at least ..

Farrah Fawcett is dead, but Heidi Pratt still lives? WTF, Allah?

Farrah Fawcett has died of cancer. She was 62. Although she clearly tested Allah by strolling around without a bra, much less a burqa, I can’t help but wonder if there were more deserving starlets harlots to smite. Far be it from me to question the will of Allah the most wise, but I would ..

Playboy Threatens to Terrorize Nation with a Naked Heidi

Celeb Jihad has just learned that Playboy is threatening to unleash a naked Heidi Montag in their September issue. The sight of that horse faced slut showing off her flappy vag will no doubt cause wide spread panic and nausea. Early reports indicate that this is Hugh Hefner seeking revenge on a world he no ..

Spencer and Heidi Get Jihaded

Our fellow Jihaders at SickPigs have portrayed a glorious victory in the battle against Hollywood! This is the only type of “red carpet treatment” celebrities should get! See more here