A rare photo of Hitler’s wife Eva Braun sporting some sexy cameltoe has just been uncovered.
Hitler was a lucky man! Not only did he get to wage a righteous war against the international Zionists, but he also got to enjoy Eva Braun’s hot body.
Tragically Hitler was defeated before he could rid the world of Jews, and then convert to Islam. However, in his bunker at the end of WWII Hitler and Eva shrewdly committed suicide thus becoming martyrs and increasing their chances of getting preferential treatment in paradise from Allah.
The picture above is of Charlie Sheen posing happily with his wife, girlfriend/nanny, and porn star Bree Olson after (probably) having a foursome.
Charlie Sheen and his women are all staying together in an exclusive resort in the Bahamas. When Charlie Sheen isn’t fulfilling the will of Allah and trying to get the abomination of a show “Two And A Half Men” canceled, he is probably enjoying the sensual pleasures of his harem by having his wife lick his balls while banging his girlfriend and/or porn star in the ass.
It is great to see Charlie Sheen embrace Islamic culture like this. Like every good Muslim Charlie rants against the US government and makes thinly veiled anti-semitic remarks, enjoys smoking the poppy, and has a harem of obedient women who eagerly fulfill his every desire. Allah truly has shown Charlie the way. Allahu Akbar!
After being persecuted for over a year just for beating up his girlfriend “Rihanna”, Chris Brown is finally done with his cruel and unusual punishment of court ordered community service.
The Western legal system is barbaric and horribly out of date as is evident by this Chris Brown case. The Qur’an is very clear that when a man beats a woman he is honoring her. Watch the video below and learn how to properly beat your wife/girlfriend.
As you can see from the video Chris Brown really did not do anything wrong by honoring Rihanna with a beating. Certainly nothing that would constitute such a severe and degrading punishment as community service.
I thank Allah that when I beat my 3rd wife Bahiyaa to death for knocking over a bucket of goat’s milk I was living in the civilized Muslim country of Afghanistan.
Believe me I did not get off without punishment, but it was not an excessive amount of community service. I had to dig my wife’s grave, and then return half the dowry money I had received for her to her father. Talk about embarrassing, but I learned my lesson and so has Chris Brown.
Still steaming from his lose to Phil Mickelson at the Masters on Sunday, reports are coming in that Tiger Woods has decided to beat Phil in another arena in which he is extremely proficient, sex.
Rumors are swirling that, on seeing Phil’s affectionate display with his wife Amy after winning the Masters, Woods decided to hatch a plan to bed her to teach Phil a lesson.
Tiger is reportedly already laying the ground work for the romance by texting her coy little messages like “anal fisting?” and “ever have a 3some… in your mouth?”
Tiger Woods’ charm is undeniable. Phil may have won the battle, but it looks like Tiger is going to win the war.
Lock up your whores Tiger Woods is going to be released from sex rehab later today. Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren is already in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to pick him up.
After completely 3 months of sex rehab were he constantly talked about his deepest darkest sexual urges but was not allowed to act on them Tiger is back on the prowl. I fully expect him to either hit up South Beach or Las Vegas, and bang the first big breasted white trash woman he sees so damn hard her uterus drops out of her vag.
Of course he has learned from his past mistakes and will use protection, and by protection I mean making the whores sign legally binding confidentiality agreements before he violently penetrates them.
I think Tiger’s wife Elin has come to accept that a Tiger can’t change his stripes, and she feels she has succfiently saved what little pride she has by beating his ass on Thanksgiving then making him complete sex rehab. She will now assume the possition of Tiger Woods’ “bottom bitch” and be damn well grateful for the opportunity.
In an effort to boost sagging ratings, Jay Leno will bang Conan O’Brien’s wife when his show returns to the 11:30 pm time slot after the Winter Olympics. NBC executives have confirmed that Leno will bang Elizabeth Powell, O’Brien’s wife of over seven years and the mother of his two children, for a half hour. After the initial 30 minutes, O’Brien will then step in to finish her off.
Jeff Gaspin, chairman of NBC Universal Television, told reporters that the move was designed to keep both stars at NBC.
“My goal right now is to keep Jay and Conan as part of our late-night lineup,” Gaspin said. “And I really think this will help accomplish my goal.”
Added Gaspin, “This is a good idea.”
Gaspin added that while Jimmy Fallon will not participate, he will be allowed to masturbate in the corner provided he does not start until 1:05 am.
Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller called police on her husband Christmas morning, and claimed he had assaulted and choked her. Charlie Sheen was arrested for felony second degree assault, and spent most of Christmas day in jail.
Sources say authorities gave both Charlie and Brooke blood alcohol tests. Brooke registered a .13 while Charlie registered a .04 (which is the amount of alcohol permanently in Charlie Sheen’s system without having a drink). Brooke then recanted her story to a female officer just before Charlie’s bail hearing, telling the cop she was very drunk when she made the 911 call.
Celeb Jihad has learned that Brooke Mueller has just stumbled into the police station with tinsel stuck to her hair, and carrying an empty bottle of Goldschlager (or as she calls it “Christmas juice”) and is accusing Charlie Sheen of murder.
Brooke has let loose a string of accusations against her husband including that he is a “stupid face”, “couldn’t f*ck his way out of a paper bag”, and that he “killed Jon Benet Ramsey”. She apparently wants to press charges on all 3 counts. Police are now conducting a manhunt for Sheen who they will most likely shoot on sight.
