Christmas came early for Tiger Woods this year when actress Brittany Murphy died suddenly in her LA home. Tiger and his harem of skanks who had been dominating the headlines the last couple weeks were instantly wiped off the front page as Brittany chased the dragon one to many times.

Brittany Murphy’s death looks like a clear case of drug overdose. However, we here at Celeb Jihad aren’t ruling out foul play just yet. We have to ask ourselves who would benefit the most from Brittany’s demise. The answer is most certainly Tiger Woods.

I’m no Angela Lansbury but I think the authorities should be at least questioning Woods about his whereabouts when Brittany Murphy died. Maybe they can smack him around some too, and see what he confesses too. I just find this whole thing a little to convenient for Tiger.

Feel free to make wild speculations and accusations in the comment section. It may be the only way we are going to solve this case!

Celeb Jihad has just learned that Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren has moved past the “I’m pissed as sh*t” stage, and on to the revenge stage of dealing with her husband’s infidelities.

According to a source close to Elin she is making plans to have revenge sex with a number of Tiger’s fellow golfers. We then threatened the source with a Jihad if she would not produce the list. This is what she gave us.

The following is a list of golfers Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren plans on letting fill her holes.

	Vijay Singh – Vijay has long been hated by Woods for trying to steal his thunder as the top racially confused golfer in the world. Elin sees Vijay as the perfect starting point for her revenge sex marathon. Plus she already has picked out the perfect pickup line “Vijay get in my Vah Jay Jay”
	Phil Mickelson – Phil is use to coming in behind Tiger. He has been the #2 golfer in the world for years now. It will be sweet revenge for him to say “Hey I f*cked your wife” after finishing 2nd to Tiger in the majors next year. Plus his wife has tit cancer so he’s probably not getting any at home.
	Sergio Garcia – Elin is convinced this Spanish golfer will be great in bed. Sergio is famous for taking an excessive amount of time before every shot. If that translates into the bedroom then Elin could be in for a long night of sweet sweet love making.
	Fuzzy Zoeller – After the Masters in 1997 Fuzzy referred to Tiger Woods as “that little boy” and urged him not to order fried chicken or collard greens for the Champions Dinner next year. How pissed is Tiger going to be when he finds out that old Fuzzy birdied his wife’s hole.
	John Daly – John likes to hit it long and hard. Elin thinks this chain smoking, binge drinking, bad boy of golf is the perfect counter balance to Tiger’s taste in porn stars.
	Jack Nicklaus – Tiger Woods’ life ambition has been to one day beat Jack Nicklaus’ all time career major wins record. Whether Tiger is able to or not will become a moot point once Jack f*cks Tiger’s wife and f*cks her good. Elin can not wait to get plowed by this “golden bear”.

In preparation for his upcoming divorce Tiger Woods has sought the help of the medical community to justify his adulterous actions. CelebJihad has obtained an official diagnosis that found Woods is a victim of “restless 3rd leg syndrome,” a disease commonly found in men over 30 that frequently travel and engage in contact with cocktail waitresses.

The official syndrome is described as a sleep disorder characterized by 3rd leg discomfort during sleep, which can only be relieved by finding a warm pocket of strange and banging away at it. Victims of this disorder are known to be so affected that they will risk a billion dollar empire in exchange for a five-minute romp with a skanky restaurant hostess.

Woods is expected to use this diagnosis in divorce court to prove that he was not at fault in the destruction of his marriage and blame his wife, Elin, for not supporting him in his battle with the disease.

The 2 latest Tiger Woods adultery stories come from 2005. When a then newlywed Tiger (he was married on October 5, 2004) banged multiple women.

The first woman was lingerie model Jamie Jungers. Last night she talked to the Sun newspaper and admitted that during their 18-month affair, she and Tiger would have sex in his house, and even in the bed that he shared with his wife.

Jamie said they began their secret affair in June 2005, after Tiger introduced himself in a club at the exclusive Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas.
Within hours he wooed Jamie back to his hotel room for sex.
It came just eight months after he wed Swede Elin Nordegren.
Weeks later, Tiger invited her to his family home near Newport Beach, California.
By this time, Jamie had strong feelings for the golfer – and seeing pictures around the house of him with Elin made her unhappy.
She said: “It was heartbreaking. I imagined how she would feel if she knew I was in her house.”
“Later I said to him, ‘I don’t know a whole lot about your marriage situation. I know it is very fresh. I know you just got married. I mean, is it going OK?’ He said, ‘Yes, it’s fine, she’s in Sweden with her family’.”

The next new Tiger Woods cheating story is also from 2005, and it comes from a forum posting on the golf website 4gea.com on August 31, 2005. It states,

Okay, let me preface this by saying that I have no proof of what I am about to say. Therefore I cannot guarantee the accuracy of these claims. I am simply going to relay a story that was told to me last night.

My buddy’s girlfriend told me that her best friend just had an affair with Tiger this past weekend in Las Vegas. She was in the VIP section of Light ( a very exclusive club inside the Bellagio) when one of Tiger’s bodyguards asked her to come meet Tiger. She went over and sat with him, had a few drinks, then left through the back door. Got in Tiger’s limo, and he took her back to his exclusive room behind the MGM Grand.

Now I do know this girl and she is very attractive but not quite on the same level as Elin :-) I do not like spreading rumors like this but I’m fascinated by this story for some reason. I would never think of Tiger as the cheating type, especially since he is still a newlywed. She is a nice, normal girl from what I can tell and this is a pretty outlandish story to make up out of the clear blue sky.

We’ll continue to keep you posted as more of Tiger’s whoring comes to light.

One of Tiger Woods “alleged” mistresses, Jamiee Grubbs, has released some texts and a voicemail she says are from Tiger. Here are the texts Woods allegedly sent to Grubbs,

“I will wear you out…when was the last time you got (bleeped)?”
*Hint the bleeped part is not “your pilates on”

“Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture).”
*The word “naughty” is open to interpretation. It is possible Tiger wanted her to take a picture of herself killing a cat or taking a dump.

If these texts weren’t damning enough for poor Tiger, the whore… I mean “mistress” also released a voicemail he left her warning her that his wife had gone through his phone, and begging her to take her name off her voicemail. Here is that voicemail…

Later in the evening Jaimee received a call from a blocked number which of course she answered. Jaimee claims the caller did not identify herself but said, “You know who this is because you’re f**king my husband.”

Jaimee responded, “that narrows it down to about 20 people could you be more specific?” (maybe she didn’t say that, but I bet she was thinking it)

Tila Tequila took time off from dressing and acting like a tremendous whore to meet with the district attorney about her assault charge against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

Tila showed off her bruised arms to the media, and shouted “if you think this is black and blue you should see what he did to my vag!”

Further damaging Merriman’s case is a supposed text he sent to a friend the next day stating “Last night was off the hook. I was slamming Tequila all night long!”