Miley Cyrus’ biggest fan made good on her threat to eat her beloved cat “Fuzzy” if Miley did not go back on Twitter.
In detail the Miley Cyrus fan describes how she took Fuzzy to the vet and had her euthanized on Monday, before frying herself up a nice cat meal.
“I then fried the meat in a pan with olive oil, added some salt and spice flavoring and put it on a plate with some celery and green onions. For a drink I had Mountain Dew.”
I like this girl’s style. She made her demands and when they were not met she carried out on her threat. I think my fellow terrorists could learn a thing or two about balls from this young lady. However, I do have to question her methods. Eating a euthanized cat is disgusting! She should have stomped the cat to death. It helps tenderize the meat!
By Muhammad’s beard! Britney Spears has just admitted to worshiping Satan! Brit said the following on her Twitter account,
We here at Celeb Jihad have worked tirelessly to warn the masses that all celebrities are Satan worshiping shape shifting reptiles, hell-bent on world domination. Now the truth comes out!
Britney was not done there though, she hit us one more time with this doozy of a twat,
“I hope that the new world order will arrive as soon as possible! – Britney”
With Barack Obama being the first celebrity President (I don’t count Ronald Reagan because his movies sucked), I’m afraid this world is doomed.
The righteous among us must build rocket ships and blast off into space, trusting that Allah will guide us to a more hospitable planet with no celebrities… or Jews.
One of Miley Cyrus’ awesome fans has released an ultimatum to the singer. Get back on Twitter or she will eat her cat. The fan claims to live in a country were this is a perfectly legal thing to do. My guess is she is in Canada. She even setup a website for people to follow the whole charade… I mean drama.
Here is her statement to Miley,
“Like many others, I became addicted to Miley Cyrus’ Tweeting. Catching up with her daily chores and what she has in mind have become part of my daily routine…The other day I asked myself: ‘What can I do to bring Miley back to Twitter?’ Fan video? Petitions? Letters? That never works. Heck, Miley even made her own video about never wanting to use Twitter again. Then I looked at my cat, Fuzzy and I realized, maybe Fuzzy can help. Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, you see, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley’s tweets for me!”
The fan has set up a November 16 deadline for Cyrus to start tweeting again. I’ve watched enough movies to know you don’t negotiate with terrorists. The only option Miley has right now is to one up the girl by killing and eating a dog. Terrorists only understand bold moves like that.
Demi Lovato the star of the Disney show “Sonny With A Chance” twittered “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart.
Demi wrote on her Twitter, “Dear Kristen Stewart, you seem like the realest person in Hollywood. I admire you so much and I hope to meet you someday.”
Looking at Demi’s twat it is obvious that she has a thing for Kristen Stewart. I mean it is practically oozing admiration. However, I don’t think Demi should be twittering a girl she doesn’t know.
Demi has got to learn that her twats are something that should be cherished, and not just flung around willy-nilly. And just because she has a thing for a girl does not mean she can twitter her whenever she feels like it.
Yesterday 16-year-old Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter account (see here) because her 19-year-old boyfriend Liam Hemsworth told her too. One of Miley’s last tweets stated,
“FYI Liam doesn’t have a twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason.”
When reached for comment Liam had this to say, “Bitch needs to focus on making me a sandwich!” Liam continued with a profanity laced rant about how Miley spent too much time “twattering” and not enough time giving bjs.
However, it seemed to be Miley’s slacking in her sandwich making duties that had him most upset. “When I say I want a sandwich I mean right now. I don’t mean 2 minutes from now after you finish typing something on Twitter you know? Let’s just say Miley learned her lesson and leave it at that *wink *wink”
Soulja Boy the musical genius behind such hits as “That one song with the dance about Superman” posted the following pics on his Twitter page with the caption “Ladies only”.
Unfortunately for Soulja I’m a Celeb Jihadist, so I posted his pictures in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist under “M4M” (male for male). I included this write up and will be forwarding Soulja Boy the responses.
“Sissy boy power bottom seeking verbal top for hard backdoor banging. Please be extremely well hung and rough. Here are some pics of my extremely gay self.”
