Kristen Stewart brazenly flaunted her bird chest and unfeminine frame in a green bikini on the set of the new Twilight movie which I didn’t bother googling the name of.
As the pictures below show, Kristen Stewart displayed her completely unremarkable body in a skimpy bikini either for a scene in the movie, or just because she is a whore. Either way she should feel great shame, and know that Allah will surely punish her for this act of sluttery.
So enjoy being completely underwhelmed by these pictures of Kristen Stewart in a bikini on the set of the new Twilight movie, with the knowledge that Allah will certainly smite Kristen soon for her sins. Allahu Akbar!
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Kristen Stewart showed off her taut boyish frame in a bikini on the set of the new Twilight movie.
The pictures below are from the scene were Robert Pattinson’s character “Edward” realizes that Kristen Stewart character “Bella” is actually not hot, so he stops obsessing over the frumpy whore and goes and finds himself a hot piece of vampire ass.
Yes Kristen Stewart is exposing her homely unremarkable body for the world to see in these bikini pictures from the new Twilight movie. Please view them with the appropriate level of disinterest. Allahu Akbar!
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We have just obtained this exclusive security camera footage of Twilight actress Kristen Stewart trying to give an older man a lap dance.
Many have speculated how Kristen Stewart, a relatively unknown actress, was able to land the starring role in the Twilight movie saga. I think we just found the answer.
I believe this video to be from Kristen Stewart’s audition for the role of “Bella” in the Twilight movies, and she comes off as an even bigger whore than I would have thought.
Her foul mouth prattles on about how older guys make her wet as she sits with her legs spread eagle in front of the producer. When the producer tries to get a little role play going by hinting that she should pretend she is 15 years old, Kristen Stewart misinterprets him and thinks he is a cop.
They go off camera were I can only assume they work it out and Kristen gives him a blowjob. The rest as they say is movie history, but don’t take my word for it see for yourself in the video below.
The geniuses behind Twilight have decided to squeeze the last bit of blood from the franchise by launching a line of feminine hygiene products featuring the characters from the series.
The company specifically hopes that the Edward Cullen line of super absorbment tampons will be a hit with the ladies. The tampons will feature a picture of Edward on the cover with the beautifully romantic saying “A drink would not be enough… Only I must absorb your blood.” If that were not enough the tampons come with a fang shaped applicator.
“It feels like Edward is drinking my menstrual blood… so romantic!” exclaimed Deborah Gibson a 34-year-old housewife from Akron Ohio, and part of the Twilight tampon test group. “I use to dread my monthly visitor now I look forward to it. Once a week every month I get to feel like Bella. It is amazing!”
The company hopes to have the Twilight tampons on shelves nationwide by the end of July.
Fresh off of his release from house arrest, Roman Polanski has signed on to direct a prequel to the Twilight films, CelebJihad has confirmed.
The famed director is currently working on a script for Twilight: First Blood, which will chronicle the adventures of 13-year-old Bella Swan before she moved to Forks, WA.
“What was Bella like before the vampires? Before the werewolves? Before the development of her intrusive and cumbersome breasts?” Polanski said during a Skype conference call with reporters. “These are the questions I hope to answer in my proposed prequel.”
Polanski is currently searching for female fans of the series, ages 12 to 15, who would be willing to participate in a series of one-one-one focus groups in France. The director feels the sessions will help “maintain the integrity” of the films and keep him in tune with the fanbase. Interested parties should send a one page essay as well as a full body photograph directly to the director.
Click here for more information on the upcoming film.
LeBron James is joining Team Jacob, and will announce his decision on Thursday night, CelebJihad has confirmed. The decision, which is sure to anger millions of Team Edward supporters, brings to rest the most-hyped free agency period in N.B.A. history.
James, a noted Twihard, reportedly made up his mind after attending a midnight viewing of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse last Wednesday with fellow NBA star and Edward supporter Chris Bosh.
“I’m hooked on Edward because of how he treats Bella,” Bosh told reporters after viewing the film. “He’s romantic and protective of her.”
“Edward is nice and can read minds; Jacob is ill-tempered and buff,” Bosh added.
But Bosh’s loyalty to Team Edward was not enough to sway James, who is reportedly obsessed with “that cute little wolf boy.”
While the hype is focused squarely on James decision, players aren’t the only ones caught up in the Twilight craze.
“The books made me feel like I was finally someone,” says NBA commissioner David Stern. “I don’t have many friends, but nothing can hurt me in my own little world.”
Added Stern, “Also, I like the fact that it’s encouraging players to read.”
Taylor Lautner, who plays Jacob in the “Twilight” movie series, got into a confrontation with a small girl at a bowling alley in Inglewood yesterday.
According to witnesses, Taylor Lautner showed up at the bowling alley by himself, and proceeded to loiter in the boy’s bathroom for a good 3 hours. He then was making his way to the exit when a small girl shouted, “Team Edward!”
This apparently struck a nerve with Taylor who confronted the small child and asked her “what the f*ck her problem was”. The girl responded with “You’re my problem f**got and I suggest you gets to stepin before I beat your homo wolf a**.”
A source close to the scene reports that Taylor’s eyes welled up with tears, and it appeared as though he was going to slap the girl. However, the girl’s mother intervened and Taylor Lautner was escorted out of the bowling alley by one of the pimply faced teens that work there.
