Celeb Jihad has just obtained this exclusive trailer for the upcoming movie “Kristianne Baille” starring Kristen Bell and Christian Bale.
I know that one shouldn’t draw too many conclusions from a trailer, but this will probably be the greatest film ever made. I think everyone involved will receive multiple Oscars, and probably get laid by a ton of super models.
The dialogue in this trailer is like poetry, and the acting so sublime I can not help but tear up every time I see it. This movie makes me question the existence of God because I can not believe there is something in this universe greater than it.
Anyway prepare yourself for this exclusive look at the new Kristen Bell and Christian Bale movie “Kristianne Baille”.
CelebJihad has just received these exclusive Twilight Eclipse promotional photos, and we could not wait to share them with our fellow “Twihards”. Since no one has seen the movie yet, and I am probably the biggest Twihard in the world I will be providing captions for each photo describing what is going on in the scene pictured.
Edward and his friends practice backyard wrestling with the hope of one day making it big in the WWE.
Edward hesitates when going for 2nd base with Bella because he is afraid that Jacob’s wolf pack may have run a train on her and she may give him vampire AIDS
Luckily for Edward an awkward situation is avoided when he nuts in his pants before they can go any further.
Edward’s Uncle Lenny, who was spying on the young couple while masturbating in the closet, looks on with disapproval at his nephew’s piss poor sexual performance.
A new girl moves to town with her bad ass biker boyfriend, and the bodies of pasty teenagers start turning up in various dumpsters.
Bella and Edward get cast to shoot a commercial for a feminine hygiene product in the town’s flower patch.
In the commercial’s closing scene Bella tells Edward that if he is good he can have her tampon for dinner when she is done with it.
The Twilight gang tackles addiction as their longtime friend Moses gets hooked on eating meth.
In the films climax Edward finds out he has an autistic brother who he takes on a road trip to Vegas to count cards at the blackjack tables.
As hormonally charged teen girls and emotionally stunted women pile into theaters to see the new Twilight movie “New Moon”, the trailer for the next Twilight movie “Vampires In Heat” was just released to the Internet.
This movie looks awesome! And by awesome I mean erotic. There is nothing more sexually appealing then a bunch of vampires in heat for a teen girl. They are so going to drive a stake into her.
Watch this trailer for Twilight: “Vampires In Heat” it is hilarious.
We mentioned last week that Jessica Alba gets her bare ass spanked in a scene in her new movie “The Killer Inside Me”.
Well we have now received the video of this glorious scene. I don’t know what is more gratifying, finally seeing Jessica Alba’s ass, or the fact that someone is beating her. I must admit that I do appreciate the direction Jessica’s career is taking, and I’ve got a wonderful part for her in my new movie. Of course there is a scene were she’ll have to take a cattle prod to the tits, but that shouldn’t be a problem.
Here is the video of the Jessica Alba spank scene from “The Killer Inside Me”.
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Wow the producer’s of Megan Fox’s new movie “Jennifer’s Body” are geniuses! They did not bother paying for decent writers, directors, or actors. Instead they put all their money into getting Megan Fox to go topless and do a lesbian kiss scene.
There is no way this movie does not make bank from all the horny Megan Fox’s fans out there. Really who cares about the story when you got Megan in front of you for 2 hours (not any of the millions of people who saw Transformers 2 obviously).
Here is an exclusive look at the lesbian kiss scene from “Jennifer’s Body”. It is definitely Katy Perry approved.
The trailer for James Cameron’s highly anticipated sci-fi thriller, Avatar, is out, and Celeb Jihad has obtained a copy. With an all-star cast and revolutionary special effects, Avatar promises to be nothing short of a blockbuster. Enjoy this exclusive first look…
