Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel’s face must be beet red right now after this upskirt picture showing her vagina was leaked on the Internet.

After breaking up Tiger Woods’ marriage Rachel Uchitel famously turned down a 7 figure offer from Playboy to pose nude in the magazine, because according to her she is actually a reserved lady and not a home-wrecking whore. However, now this picture of Rachel Uchitel’s cotter is out for the world to see, and it is absolutely free.

I can finally see why Tiger Woods found Rachel Uchitel so appealing. Her pussy looks like the 16th hole at Pebble Beach. There is a fairly large playing surface surrounded by rough, and a generous hole placement which should only require 3 strokes to finish in.

Enjoy this upskirt picture of Rachel Uchitel’s vagina for free, and take comfort in the fact that is cost Tiger Woods 100 million dollars for the same privilege.

Now that Tiger Woods is officially single he is wasting no time getting back out on the prowl.

As this picture shows Tiger is licking his chops while staring at a nice piece of grade A blond white girl ass (his meal of choice). If you look into Tiger’s eyes there is little doubt that he will be mounting this woman sometime in the near future, and he may even sodomize her with that microphone.

Tiger Woods still needs to do a lot of rehabbing of his image. Not for cheating on his wife, but for doing it with such busted looking whores. Frankly it was quite shocking that a man of his stature could not pull better tail than that. I am just a humble Jihadist and I am pretty sure even I banged one of Tiger Wood’s mistresses in the bathroom of TGI Fridays in Chino.

Now that Tiger is single he can put his full focus on important things, like hole-in-oneing hot women thus restoring his image in the eyes of his white middle-aged male fans.

Still steaming from his lose to Phil Mickelson at the Masters on Sunday, reports are coming in that Tiger Woods has decided to beat Phil in another arena in which he is extremely proficient, sex.

Rumors are swirling that, on seeing Phil’s affectionate display with his wife Amy after winning the Masters, Woods decided to hatch a plan to bed her to teach Phil a lesson.

Tiger is reportedly already laying the ground work for the romance by texting her coy little messages like “anal fisting?” and “ever have a 3some… in your mouth?”

Tiger Woods’ charm is undeniable. Phil may have won the battle, but it looks like Tiger is going to win the war.

Tiger Woods and Nike caused a great deal of controversy yesterday with a new commercial which features Tiger awkwardly staring into the camera as the voice of his dead father Earl Woods berates him from beyond the grave.

Many are outraged at Tiger for exploiting his dead father to get forgiveness from the consumer masses. I however do not blame Tiger for the ad, but am instead furious at Nike. This commercial would have been a million times better if they would of had the audio from Tiger’s voicemail to that whore, were he begs her to take her name of her voicemail playing, while he makes that stupid face.

Luckily for the marketing whiz kids at Nike someone on the Internet had the savvy to replace their ineffective audio with the Tiger Wood’s voicemail. See for yourself how great this Nike commercial is now below.

Tiger Woods’ mistress Joslyn James has made headlines today by releasing a series of very graphic text messages that Tiger allegedly sent her during their relationship. Here is a sample of the ones released that got my loins burning.

- OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust.
- I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you
- Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? … just morbid curiosity.
- You are my f**king whore. Hold you down while I choke you

However, Celeb Jihad has learned that these texts are just the tip of the iceberg, and that Joslyn has been saving the really dirty stuff for later. We were able to get our hands on some more alleged Tiger Woods text messages, and lets just say I haven’t masturbated this vigorously since I heard Farrah Fawcett died of ass cancer. Don’t take my word for it see for yourself:

- OK lets go to the Olive Garden. You can order the pasta primavera and I’ll take it into the bathroom, jerk off into it, then watch you eat it.
- I want to suck a fart out of your a**hole and hold it in my mouth like a bong hit.
- Have you ever eaten another girl’s sh*t out of a cup, then vomited it back into the cup, then watched as she drank the sh*t vomit, then tongue kissed her? … just morbid curiosity.
- You are my disgusting AIDS ridden c*ckgobbling c*m dumpster. I want to take a blowtorch to your nipples.

What did I tell you hot stuff!

Tiger Woods made headlines today when he announced that his return to golf will take place at something called “The Masters”. That sounds like a pretty racist tournament to me, but what do you expect from a self-loathing black guy like Woods.

More importantly though we have heard from a very reliable source (who may or may not be a carnival psychic) that Tiger will make his triumphant return to banging whores behind his wife’s back sometime in early May. After a long period away from the game Tiger has decided he is ready to get back out there and get his golf club wet.

No one knows for sure how Tiger’s sex game will be affected by his extended absence from f*cking, but his fellow adulterers don’t seem to concerned. When asked how Tiger’s layoff may affect his laying ability, long time friend and former President Bill Clinton said, “Tiger is a once in a generation type of cocksman. I don’t see him having any problem getting back out there. His whore wrangling may be a little down at first, but once he gets back inside some stink he should be fine. It is just like riding a bike.”

So skanks of America start doing your stretches and waxing your naughty bits because one of the greatest man whores of our era will be back on the prowl in a matter of weeks.

Rachel Uchitel, noted home wrecker and queen of the Tiger Woods harem, has joined the cast of “Extra” as a special correspondent whorespondent. Uchitel’s stint on the celebrity-news show will consist primarily of interviews, although one could imagine she may end up servicing the show’s producers as well, provided they are married.

Only in America (and probably South America, Europe, and parts of Asia, Africa and Australia) could a tramp like this parlay adultery into a job. From Monica Lewinsky to Ashley Dupre to Jay Leno, Uchitel joins the growing list of celebrities who have had to suck off a married man to get on TV.

I wish I was back in Saudi Arabia, where one gets ahead through persistence and hard work, the result of which can be used to purchase camels and young prepubescent Sudanese boys with which to bribe the local chieftains or clerics.

Here’s a clip of “Extra” correspondent whorespondent Rachel Uchitel interviewing a eunuch.