Stupid infidels are all in a tizzy over Weezer bassist Mickey Welsh “amazingly” predicting the exact time and place of his death.
As you can see in his tweets above, Mickey Welsh does say where and when he is going to die. Of course Mickey was a drug addict and committed suicide by overdose on the weekend he predicted, but that hasn’t stopped the moronic kuffar populace from being bewildered by his foresight.
Well infidels if you think Mickey Welsh’s death prediction was impressive wait until the see the one I made for myself below come true.
“I will die 60 years from now, with a stomach full of smoked goat’s meat, and a hot infidel whore’s mouth wrapped around my cock.”
Prepare to be amazed!
MTV “Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood was rushed to the hospital in Indiana yesterday after she allegedly tried to commit suicide.
For those who don’t know Amber is a foul-mouthed portly whore who got knocked up in high school by some fat slob named “Gary”. So basically she is your typical American girl.
Why Amber tried to take her own life is still unknown. However, we can only assume that she finally had a moment of clarity and realized what a disgusting piece of trash she was, and decided to do the honorable thing and kill herself.
Of course being the stupid infidel that she is, she failed miserably and reportedly is not even visibly hurt. What a complete f*ck up!
The Pro-Suicide movement has just got a huge boost thanks to musician Katy Perry agreeing to be their spokesperson to promote the positive side of suicide.
“I just feel that suicide gets a bad wrap.” said the singer, “I mean what is so great about living? Lots of people do that. I say be an individual don’t follow the crowd!”
The suicide rate, especially among teens, has dropped in the last couple years, and this trend disturbs Katy Perry.
“I just hate to see the kids today miss out on an important rite of passage. I mean everyone should at least try killing themselves once. Lets face it, if your life sucks when you are 15 or 16 years old it will probably never get better, so what do you have to lose?”
To get her pro-suicide message out to her fans, Katy Perry will be appearing in a commercial in which she showcases the fun and sexy side of taking one’s own life. As you can see in the pictures below Katy Perry is wearing a revealing outfit while playfully leaning over the edge of a balcony 50 feet above the pavement.
“If I just get one of my fans to accept the hopelessness and utter meaninglessness of life, then I did my job.” said Katy. Let us hope Katy Perry’s suicide campaign touches a lot more than one.
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See, this is why the rest of the world hates America. You people can’t do anything right. You think you’re so damn superior, but truth be told, Muslim extremists are years ahead of you when it comes to suicide technology.
In a scene that can only be described as laughably inept, Fantasia, the former American Idol champion, attempted to kill herself by taking an “overdose of aspirin and a sleep aid,” according to officials.
Aspirin? Gee, great idea. Maybe Al-Qaeda should start throwing aspirin into crowded public areas, or maybe they should start crashing cars full of aspirin into U.S. Military installations. Can you imagine?
Hey Fantasia, you’re only considered a martyr if you take other infidels to hell with you, ya big dummy. If you get serious, email my cousin Fahd. He’s living in the Pakistani tribal region, and he can get you a great deal on a suicide belt.
Aspirin. You kill me, girl (but not yourself),
Celeb Jihad has just confirmed that troubled actress Lindsay Lohan is dead… on the inside.
After years of late night partying, anonymous sex, and drug abuse Lindsay Lohan is now dead inside.
At one time Lohan was a vivacious redhead full of life, but gradually that life has been sucked out of her. Now with her impending incarceration doctors have pronounced Lindsay dead on the inside.
There is still hope for Lohan though. Many women who die on the inside have new exciting opportunities open up for them, and go on to live long meaningless lives. Why the whole adult entertainment industry is full of women who, like Lindsay Lohan, are dead on the inside.
The adult entertainment industry seems to be the perfect fit for the newly dead Lindsay. She can already kind of act, and we know she has had plenty experience pleasuring various men and women.
Yes Lindsay Lohan’s death marks a new and exciting turning point for her career. Now she can take load after load of hot porn star man juice to her face, and not at all be mentally effected. A skill few women possess.
Lindsay has been given a second chance let us hope she takes advantage of it.
Always the trend setter, Lindsay Lohan created quite the buzz last night with a postmodern cry for help. Lindsay tweeted a picture of herself holding a gun to her smiling mouth, putting a playful ironic twist on her a desperate plea.
“She could have gone the traditional route and went to a rehab center or a psych ward, but that’s been done to death,” said art critic Lamar DeBold. “What Lindsay did was turn your traditional suicide threat on its head by seamlessly merging performance art with the lowest depths of hopelessness and despair.”
DeBold claims that by adding elements such as the Polaroid frame and the sexy black dress, Lohan was commenting on how her sex symbol status and constant run-ins with the paparazzi are factors in her inevitable overdose and, or suicide.
“With that ironic little smirk, Lindsay is saying that she knows that we know she is actually going to blow her drug-addled brains out someday soon.”
Added DeBold, “I haven’t been this impressed since Heath Ledger went 90′s kitsch by overdosing at the “Full House” girl’s apartment.
Sky News quotes Gary Taylor, owner of Jackson fan mega-site, as saying that as many as 12 Michael Jackson fans have killed themselves since Michael’s passing last Thursday.
One manic Jackson fan that was prevented from jumping off a bridge said “It’s all the same to me. I’m going to kill myself. It’s the worst tragedy of my life and I don’t want to live any more. I don’t know why you saved my life, I want to be with him”
A report from Tunisia claims a girl took her life as well but that has yet to be verified.
This is a good start. Allah willing, if we continue to mock Michael Jackson’s death, more of his psychotic celebrity worshiping followers will take their lives. This will give more space to the righteous who realize that they did not know the real Michael Jackson, and that his passing should have little to no effect on their lives.
