Commercial icon and habitual day-trader The E-Trade Baby, 6 months, was found dead last night in an apparent suicide, according to the Los Angeles County Department of Coroner’s office.

Officials are refusing to comment during the initial investigation, but CelebJihad has managed to obtain a copy of the suicide note which indicates the Baby was unable to cope with losses he sustained in the recent financial downturn. (see below).

As the police search for answers in this highly publicized death, pressure is mounting on government officials to take action.

“We realize this tragedy may cause a public outcry demanding we ban infants from day trading,” said Maxwell Harris of the Securities and Exchange Commission. “But the fact is infants are historically aggressive buyers, and without them we would probably see the Dow around 5,000 right now, so lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.”

Added Harris, “It’s not as if they don’t have time to rebound before retirement.”

E-Trade has yet to issue a statement to the press, but an executive who wished to remain anonymous said the company does not take dead babies lightly, unlike rivals Scottrade and TD Ameritrade, who “live for that shit.”

Question #1: What is the main cause of the current financial crisis?

Frank Lessick
Denver, CO

Mel Gibson: Responsibility lies with the Jews. They own the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s not “federal” at all. It’s privately owned by Jews! Already the Federal Reserve has 4 Jews ruling its 5-member Board of Governors.

Question #2: What would the proposed bailout plan have meant to the American tax payer?

Katherine Scully
Cleveland, OH

Gibson: President George Bush would have borrowed money in the billions from the Jewish money lenders of the Federal Reserve Bank. They look so very professional & so legit don’t they? But don’t fall for it, for they are bandits. How did President George Bush plan to pay for these loans at Jewish high interest, hmm? By taxing American Gentiles up the gazoo!

Question #3: How worried should I be about my bank failing?

Chris Franovich
Flint, MI

Gibson: Banking has been the livelihood of the Jews for centuries. This is because historical Christendom forbad the employing of usury, as it is forbidden in the Bible. But the Jews stepped in and became the bankers of Christendom, gouging the gentiles at every turn.

Question #4: Is it true that the bail out plan would have included foreign-owned banks?

Rich Wilkins
Scranton, PA

Gibson: The modern age of Jewish banking began with Mayer Amschel Bauer who, in 1750, set up the House Of The Red Shield (House Of Rotschildt) in an area of Frankfurt called “Judengasse” (literally Jew Street). He put up a banner on his store front with a Red Shield on it, complete with the occult symbol of the so-called Jewish Star of David.

Question #5: Does responsibility for the crisis rest in Washington or New York?

Andrew Brown
Louisville, KY

Gibson: I was in Greenwich Village last week and I saw this disgusting pervert “monument” to homosexuals championed by the New York ACL-JEWS! I took my cross and made large slicing movements all over the homos and lesbians depicted in the abominable work of plaster. Then I yelled out, “Homosexuality & Lesbianism Is An Abomination!”

Question #6: Are there any safe investments left out there? What about international markets?

Joe Kettner
Cincinnati, OH

Gibson: Organ trafficking is now a multi-million dollar business. Couple this with the Zionists having an obsession for self-preservation and the Jewish Talmud’s view of Arabs being sub-human, and Israel emerges as a leading trafficker in the organ transplant business.

Question #7: I have your son.

Nate Feldman
Danbury, CT

Gibson: GIVE ME BACK MY SON!