Wow I was really hoping that Taylor Swift was ready to turn a corner and start acting like a proper lady when I saw her wearing a burqa, but now that I have seen her in these disgustingly small short shorts I’ve finally realized there is just no hope for her.

I have never seen anything as offensive as Taylor Swift’s exposed long milky white legs in this picture. There is only one thing a girl wearing shorts like that is after, and that is anonymous sex with helicopter pilots AKA the sailors of the sky.

Taylor Swift is obviously looking to get her kicks by getting “taken for a ride” by helicopter pilots. Helicopter pilots are the perfect target for an eager slut like Taylor Swift. They can sometimes spend up to 2 hours in the air without a woman in sight, so once they land they will immediately f*ck the nearest skank willing to spread for them.

Taylor Swift has once again proven herself to be one of the lowest pieces of gutter trash Hollywood has ever seen. Her overt sexual promiscuity is an affront to Allah and she must be punished!

Miley Cyrus wore a wife beater and headed to a tanning salon yesterday in the hopes that a MTV casting director would see her and offer her a role on the upcoming season of “The Jersey Shore”.

Sadly for Miley no one of importance took notice. However, there appears to be an interesting phenomenon going on in the crotchal region of Miley’s shorts. The fabric of her shorts is being sucked up into her cooter, willfully defying the laws of gravity. The only plausible explanation could be that Miley’s crotch has developed a black hole.

I am sure scientists are still trying to calculate how long we have until Miley’s crotch black hole engulfs enough mass to expand exponentially sucking in our planet, and most likely the whole Milky Way galaxy, into her privates. With what little time we have left check out these terrifying pictures of Miley Cyrus’ short shorts covering the black hole that will surely kill us all someday soon.