Emma Watson was photographed shopping for panties. Who these panties are for remains unclear, but ever since Emma Watson started attending Brown University and cut off her hair to become a liberal lesbian elitist we have to assume the panties are for one of her stable of coed lesbian lovers.
Look at Emma Watson’s face as she paws at the panties in her hand. Obviously she is already fantasizing about them on her nubile bi-curious girlfriend who is trying to get back at her parents for sending her to that elite boarding school instead of the perfectly good private school that her friends from “the club” go to.
Yes Emma Watson is going to need to stock up on panties for all her girls at Brown University. That place is just crawling with sluts looking to become lesbians to shock their parents for supposed childhood slights.
Joaquin Phoenix is now a superhero… or just a bearded hobo in a cape. Just in case you were just wondering what Joaquin Phoenix has been up to lately. The National Enquirer writes,
“It’s no hoax, folks – Joaquin Phoenix is one nutty fruitcake! The looney-toony star, dressed like a homeless derelict and muttering to himself nonstop, was spotted pawing through racks of clothes at Red Balls on Melrose, where he finally grabbed a black velvet cape, black trousers and mesh top, ducked into a dressing room – and began belting rap songs.
Emerging in his new outfit, he told the salesgirl he’d be wearing it home. Nervous, she asked: ‘What form of payment will you be using today, sir?’… then nearly jumped out of her skin when Phoenix banged down a wad of cash and yelled: ‘MONEY!’ Said an eyewitness: ‘He mumbled madly while the girl counted out his change and offered him a bag for his own clothes. Joaquin never said a word, rushed out of the store wearing his velvet cape – and dumped his old clothes in the nearest trash can!’”
I’m calling bullshit on this one though. The fact that his brother-in-law Casey Affleck has been taping his every move for a documentary makes it pretty clear that this is all just an act.
And I don’t know about you, but I know I always rap to myself while changing into mesh.
