The future Mrs Durka Durka, Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel, continues to frustrate me. Since we are obviously soul mates and meant to be together I find it a little irritating that she has yet to respond to any of my letters. I didn’t even get so much as a thank you card for the delicious goat testicles I sent her.

Obviously the real problem is that Candice Swanepoel has not had her clit circumcised yet. That explains why she is too busy running around in her underwear being a whore instead of waiting on me hand and foot like proper woman should. If her thong fitter at Victoria’s Secret could just give her a little snip I would be very grateful, and kill them last in the coming religious war.

Until Candice Swanepoel accepts her place by my side I will continue to post pictures of her in lingerie to shame her. Here is are a ton of pics of Candice doing what she does.

Look at these outtakes from a photo shoot with Rachel Bilson and you may notice something pretty remarkable. When Rachel Bilson isn’t wearing 30 damn layers of clothes she has an amazingly bangable body.

Now I’m all for women covering up, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I mean at least with a burka you can get an idea of the girl’s ass and bust, but when Rachel Bilson heads out you can usually not see anything but a head sticking out of a block of clothes.

Rachel Bilson is a good Muslim girl who tries to suppress her sex appeal so that she does not cause impure thoughts in the males around her. However, Allah blessed her with such a great body that it is blasphemous of her to keep it covered as much as she does. I am sure Allah would not be displeased if she showed a little ankle now and then or if her tit pops out… whichever.

Miley Cyrus wore a wife beater and headed to a tanning salon yesterday in the hopes that a MTV casting director would see her and offer her a role on the upcoming season of “The Jersey Shore”.

Sadly for Miley no one of importance took notice. However, there appears to be an interesting phenomenon going on in the crotchal region of Miley’s shorts. The fabric of her shorts is being sucked up into her cooter, willfully defying the laws of gravity. The only plausible explanation could be that Miley’s crotch has developed a black hole.

I am sure scientists are still trying to calculate how long we have until Miley’s crotch black hole engulfs enough mass to expand exponentially sucking in our planet, and most likely the whole Milky Way galaxy, into her privates. With what little time we have left check out these terrifying pictures of Miley Cyrus’ short shorts covering the black hole that will surely kill us all someday soon.

Desperate toss aside Jennifer Aniston was in Cancun looking hot as hell in a bikini. Is there nothing Jennifer Aniston won’t do to win Brad Pitt back? I mean looking sexy in a bikini is an obvious ploy by Aniston to get Pitt’s attention.

Notice how she crawls around with her ass up in the air. That is obviously for Brad’s benefit. With this bikini Jen is basically saying “Hey I’ve never had kid’s because my ovaries are barren, so I’m still super tight. Come back to me Brad!”

I don’t know if these bikini pics will be enough to win Brad back from Angelina because Angelina has a rocking body as well, and most likely is much freakier in bed. Aniston is going to have to step her game up with a highly publicized lesbian midget f*ck fest if she wants to get Brad’s attention again. Until then enjoy these pics of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini.

The enchantress she-devil known as Olivia Wilde was at it again trying to steal the souls of men with her hypnotic blue eyes and relentless sex appeal. This time Olivia took to the pages of the Italian version of GQ magazine.

This latest move by the demon child is a curious one. You would think Olivia Wilde, being an expert of the black arts, would have known that Italians do not have souls. As hairy, greasy, fist pumping subhumans, Allah in his infinite wisdom decided not to waste good souls on them. He instead filled them with a never ending lust for house music and tanning spray to occupy their mortal lives.

Olivia Wilde may be a crafty she-beast from the underworld hell bent on world domination through sexiness, but that does not mean she is infallible. Here are the pics of her futile attempt at capturing the souls of the Italians.

I know what you are probably thinking “Who is that cheap hooker? And would she give me a discount if my friend Gino and I banged her at the same time?” Well I’ll have you know that the girl in the pictures below is not some filthy disease ridden streetwalker, but none other than Taylor Momsen a 16-year-old actress and star of the hit TV show “Gossip Girl”.

Why is this young girl dressed like a gutter skank? Because America is a sick and evil country that is hell bent on selling sex and defiling Muslim women. Taylor Momsen and her hooker tracksuit is portrayed as “cool” and “jiggy wit it” as the kids say. While a beautiful Muslim woman in a respectable black burka is considered a big time “L7 square”.

America is such a backwards country. If I were to go up and beat Taylor Momsen within an inch of her life for dressing like a whore, and provoking me to have impure thoughts I’d be the one who got arrested! I’ll tell you it doesn’t say much for “American freedom” when a guy can’t even protect himself against wanton temptresses.

Anyway here are the pics of Taylor Momsen dressed like a $20 hooker to mock Allah, and make young girls grow up into sexed up hell cats.

Selena Gomez is the 17 year old star of the hit Disney show “Wizards of Waverly Place”. She also is incredibly absent minded and a terrible role model for young girls.

As the photos below show, Selena Gomez completely forgets to wear pants. How a woman could go out and have her pictures taken without remembering to put on a decent pair of trousers is beyond me. Maybe her mind was hazy from all the black tar heroin and wild sex orgies these Disney stars seem to love to partake in.

Not only did Selena Gomez forget to put on pants, but the sweater she is wearing doesn’t seem to fit her at all. It is entirely too long. How could she possibly think that was a good fit for a sweater? She is practically swimming in it.

Selena Gomez is a terrible role model for young girls, and should be lashed with reeds immediately. As these pictures show she has a dubious fashion sense, and probably dresses herself in some drug and sex filled haze.