Lock up your whores Tiger Woods is going to be released from sex rehab later today. Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren is already in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to pick him up.
After completely 3 months of sex rehab were he constantly talked about his deepest darkest sexual urges but was not allowed to act on them Tiger is back on the prowl. I fully expect him to either hit up South Beach or Las Vegas, and bang the first big breasted white trash woman he sees so damn hard her uterus drops out of her vag.
Of course he has learned from his past mistakes and will use protection, and by protection I mean making the whores sign legally binding confidentiality agreements before he violently penetrates them.
I think Tiger’s wife Elin has come to accept that a Tiger can’t change his stripes, and she feels she has succfiently saved what little pride she has by beating his ass on Thanksgiving then making him complete sex rehab. She will now assume the possition of Tiger Woods’ “bottom bitch” and be damn well grateful for the opportunity.
Look closely at the creature in the picture above. No that is not Big Foot, it is famed golfer and adulterer Tiger Woods, and it is the first picture taken of him since his 2:30am car crash on November 28th.
The whereabouts of Tiger have been speculated upon since the accident. He was reportedly spotted everywhere from Sweden to Africa, but it turns out Tiger has been hiding in a sex rehab clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.
I know what you are thinking “why would they put a sex rehab in Hattiesburg, Mississippi everyone knows that place is just crawling with slutty hot young poontang”, but the facility is apparently very good at what they do. They help sex addicts beat their addiction by slowly stroking them off sex. Rest assured Tiger Woods is in good hands.
