Gary Coleman’s ex-wife, Shannon Price, is reportedly shopping around photos of her ex-huband’s lifeless corpse, according to TMZ. What makes the matter even more insulting is that she’s reportedly willing to part with the pics for “five figures.” I’ve paid more for elderly camels and post-pubescent girls.
These unruly American women have no dignity. She did not even bare children for Gary, and now she seeks to humiliate him, even in death! This is why Allah had the foresight to create burqas and female circumcision. If this woman had been trained from an early age, we would not be witnessing such a disgusting display. But thanks to shows like “The View” and the unholy invention known as the tampon, this is what society has become.
At least Gary’s misfortune has served as a waning. I’ve already taken precautions to make sure that this cannot happen to me. My wives and any unmarried daughters are to be burned alive in the event of my death, making such a betrayal impossible. Thank you for showing me the light, Gary Coleman.
Reality T.V. star Kourtney Kardashian is tired of being a parent and is looking to find her son Mason a loving home. The star is offering to sell the child to a loving family for $5,000.
“I’m just not cut out for this,” said Kardashian. “We’re both better off parting ways.”
The final straw for Kardashian came when she accidentally left Mason in the refrigerator while she was grabbing a bottle of Thunderbird.
“I put him down in the fridge for just one sec so I could grab a bottle of delicious Thunderbird, and I forgot all about it,” said Kardashian. “Two minutes later when I opened the fridge to grab another bottle it was crying like crazy and it scared the crap out of me. That’s when I decided he had to go.”
While many will be quick to judge Kardashian for selling her baby, she insists that it’s not about the money.
“I’m not looking to make profit, I just don’t want to take a loss on this kid,” she said, noting that potential buyers would have to undergo a background check.
“I mean a healthy white baby for only $5,000? That’s at least $10,000 under market value.”
