Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel’s face must be beet red right now after this upskirt picture showing her vagina was leaked on the Internet.
After breaking up Tiger Woods’ marriage Rachel Uchitel famously turned down a 7 figure offer from Playboy to pose nude in the magazine, because according to her she is actually a reserved lady and not a home-wrecking whore. However, now this picture of Rachel Uchitel’s cotter is out for the world to see, and it is absolutely free.
I can finally see why Tiger Woods found Rachel Uchitel so appealing. Her pussy looks like the 16th hole at Pebble Beach. There is a fairly large playing surface surrounded by rough, and a generous hole placement which should only require 3 strokes to finish in.
Enjoy this upskirt picture of Rachel Uchitel’s vagina for free, and take comfort in the fact that is cost Tiger Woods 100 million dollars for the same privilege.
Rachel Uchitel, noted home wrecker and queen of the Tiger Woods harem, has joined the cast of “Extra” as a special correspondent whorespondent. Uchitel’s stint on the celebrity-news show will consist primarily of interviews, although one could imagine she may end up servicing the show’s producers as well, provided they are married.
Only in America (and probably South America, Europe, and parts of Asia, Africa and Australia) could a tramp like this parlay adultery into a job. From Monica Lewinsky to Ashley Dupre to Jay Leno, Uchitel joins the growing list of celebrities who have had to suck off a married man to get on TV.
I wish I was back in Saudi Arabia, where one gets ahead through persistence and hard work, the result of which can be used to purchase camels and young prepubescent Sudanese boys with which to bribe the local chieftains or clerics.
Here’s a clip of “Extra” correspondent whorespondent Rachel Uchitel interviewing a eunuch.
Us Magazine is reporting that the number of women who claim to have been birdied by Woods is now at 9.
In addition to the already much-discussed club manager Rachel Uchitel and Tool Academy alum Jaimee Grubbs, the following women have come forward claiming Tiger dropped a ball in their hole, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, 31-year-old “Manhattan clubber” Cori Rist, an anonymous Orlando woman (we’ll assume her name is Fellatio Queef), and of course porn star Holly Sampson.
But perhaps the most interesting new whore is one Mindy Lawton. I know you are thinking with a name like Mindy she is probably some sort of sophisticated businesswoman slash brain surgeon, but surprisingly she is just a waitress in Orlando.
Since Tiger took his 9-iron out her mouth Mindy has been free to flap her man-pleaser and she is relishing in the opportunity. Apparently unaware of how affairs work a hurt Mindy complains, “all he wanted me for was sex”. She went on to describe all the kinky stuff her and Tiger did together including having sex in a church parking lot and at Tiger’s home while his then-pregnant wife was out of town. She also went on to state that Tiger likes to play in the rough saying, “he wanted to spank me and loved pulling my hair as we had sex.”
In related news, VH1 announced that they have found the cast for the new seasons of “For The Love Of Ray J” and “Charm School”.
Elin Nordegren, the wife of professional golf sensation Tiger Woods, is being hailed as a hero today after using a golf club to rescue a group of third graders who were trapped in a burning building. On Friday, Nordegren used the same golf club to free her husband from the wreckage of a car accident, making this her second golf-club related rescue in less than a week.
The children involved in the incident were on a field trip to a hog-rendering plant directly across the street from Woods and Nordegren’s home. The students and their chaperon became trapped when an electrical fire broke out, blocking the only exit. The children tried in vain to escape through a window, only to find that it had been painted shut. Luckily, Nordegren happened upon the scene with her golf club and smashed the window open. She then continued on, smashing every window within a three block radius, just to be sure.
Firefighters on the scene say that if Nordegren had not been in the area with the golf club, the children would have surely died.
“A lot of lives were saved by that brave woman and her trusty golf club,” said firefighter Joe Elipani. “She was so focused, so determined when she broke that window. If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was deranged.”
Although she was not available for comment, sources close to Nordegren say she is exploring other ways in which she can save lives, including the possibility of using her golf club to screen Rachel Uchitel for brain tumors.