Puberty is a difficult time for most teens. Acne, cracked voices, and strange new feelings can make life extremely awkward. But at the end of the day, puberty is simply your body’s way of growing from a child to an adult. Besides, it happens to everyone….even teen heartthrob Justin Bieber!
That’s right, even Justin faces the challenges associated with puberty. And he wants to let all his fans know that if he can get through it, so can you. That’s why Justin sat down with us to share his wisdom on the subject! So, without further ado, here are Justin Bieber’s tips for surviving puberty.
1. Your balls are gonna grow all big and shit, so make sure to buy yourself some bigger drawers, yo.2. Your pits are gonna stink like my manager’s finger after one of our “coaching sessions.” So be sure to get some Axe for your pits.
3. If you start having a wet dream, ride that shit out. I had a wet dream with Usher in it and it was fantastic!
4. When dating a girl, the urge to explore her body is perfectly natural. I recommend using a hunting knife for exploring those hard to reach places, like the spleen.
5. It’s not a good idea to squeeze or pick at pimples. This practice only makes the acne worse. Try willing them away with the healing power of Kabalah.
6. Sometimes, for no reason, your penis will get hard. Just think about girls and it will go away.
7. During puberty, it’s important to develop your own look. Keep up with the latest fashions and hairstyles by checking magazines like Cosmo and Ranger Rick.
8. Girls who are on their periods should stay within an airtight container for the duration of their
menstruation. Vampires can smell that shit a mile away.9. A girl’s breasts will begin to develop generally between the ages of 8 and 11, so make sure to tap that ass before then. Titties be gross.
10. It’s completely normal to have homosexual thoughts during puberty…at least that’s what Nick Jonas told me during that unforgettable night in Orlando.
Celeb Jihad has just learned that soon to be 16-year-old and Canadian songstress Justin Bieber has just got her first pube!
Justin was said to be frightened at first, but she had a nice long talk with her mom and is now excited that she is beginning her long overdue transformation into womanhood. No word yet if Justin has started getting her period, but we imagine with pubes popping up like they are it is only a matter of time.
For those who do not know who Justin Bieber is yet, she is a singer and song writer who is taking the world by storm. Justin was discovered on YouTube were she use to post videos of herself dancing in her underwear while lip singing Britney Spears songs. A music exec saw potential in the young beauty and flew her to Atlanta to get started on making horrible music for the hormonally charged teen masses. The rest as they say is history.
