Is pop star Katy Perry pregnant or just another fat American infidel woman?
As you can see in the photo above Katy Perry appears to have a large bump in her midsection. Whether that bump is a baby or just Taco Bell 7-layer burritos is still to be determined.
However, one thing is for certain I am definitely not the father of Katy Perry’s possible baby as I made sure she swallowed. You can never be too careful in this day and age, as infidel whores like Katy Perry will go to incredible lengths to procure a Muslim man’s seed.
Selena Gomez was photographed leaving MTV’s headquarters in New York (looking extremely pregnant) after reportedly signing a deal to star in the new season of MTV’s hit series “Teen Mom”.
According to sources close to the situation Selena Gomez has signed a contract (in the high 4 figures) to appear on “Teen Mom 3″ along with other teen mom’s Destiny, Laquisha, and Starla.
The show will begin filming as soon as Selena gives birth, and will follow Selena through the trials and tribulations of being an unwed teen mother.
MTV maintains that though they give teen moms like Selena fame and money simply for having underage sex and getting knocked up, they are not glamorizing teen pregnancy.
However, one can not help but feel that MTV is simply part of a larger Zionist plot to increase the infidel birthrate to keep pace with that of us extremely virile Muslims. Of course no seed is as potent as that from a Muslim man, so their efforts are completely in vain.
At 18 years old, Selena Gomez was always looked at as an “old maid” in the Mexican community for not having birthed at least one child. However, after years of perseverance having anonymous sex whenever she could get it, all that is about to change because Selena Gomez is pregnant!
Last night Selena was taken to the hospital complaining of headaches, nausea, and exceptionally smelly taco farts. After running some routine tests doctors determined that Selena Gomez is pregnant.
This is great news for the Gomez family as the baby is due to arrive around the time of the next lettuce harvest, and they could certainly use all the hands they can get. Selena Gomez’s mother, Consuela Gomez (who had Selena at 15 years of age) had this to say,
“I am extremely proudo of my little chalupa Selena for finally getting el prego. We hopeo that the baby is a boyo. Gracias!”
While speculation is rampant that Justin Bieber is the father of Selena’s baby we find that highly unlikely considering he is a homo and has tiny mouse balls. We’ll have more on this story as it develops.
James Van Der Beek and his girlfriend, Kimberly Brook, are expecting a bastard child this fall, CelebJihad has confirmed.
The 33-year-old actor confirmed the putrid abomination against Allah on his Twitter. “Yes, it’s true – the woman I love and I are expecting our first child,” he defiantly wrote, mocking sharia law. “Experiencing joy on levels I never knew existed.”
Well, enjoy it while you can, because someday you will burn in hell for this sin, experiencing pain on levels you never knew existed.
I have not been this disgusted in a long time. It’s bad enough that the two have been fornicating out of wedlock, but to actually brag about such a sin on Twitter is beyond reprehensible.
While James is somewhat at fault, clearly Kimberly is to blame. If she had been at home wearing a burqa under the protection of her male relatives this never would have happened. Does James really want the mother of his child to be a woman who parades her naked face and arms around town like a whore?
In any case, it’s only a mater of time before Kimberly’s brothers and cousins try to stone her to death for the shame she has brought to their clan. This will not end well.
Is Selena Gomez pregnant? While we can’t be certain, this picture from the set of her new movie, I’ll Spit On Your Corpse While I Piss On Your Grave IV, seems to show a noticeable baby bump.
Has Selena been running around with a man behind her girlfriend Taylor Swift‘s back, or have the two of them decided to have a child together with donated sperm? Or, perhaps Selena has just put on some weight? Only time will tell.
A mandatory evacuation order is now in effect for anything living in the vicinity of Kendra Wilkinson vagina, officials announced on Wednesday.
The order, which was given due to the impending birth of Kendra’s child, is expected to affect more than 50 billion viral and bacterial residents of the vagina and countless other parasitic insects in the surrounding area.
“Anything that stays in that vagina is dead,” said a federal health official who wished to remain nameless. “When that baby hits, the whole area is going to be torn to smithereens.”
Previously, Kendra’s vagina was considered one of America’s pristine wetlands. But years of drilling and overuse have left it in shambles. It is feared that this birth may damage the vagina beyond repair, rendering the entire area worthless.
Twilight beauty Robert Pattinson is pregnant!
A month ago we received reports that the Twilight star was expecting his first child. Never one to take such serious news at face value Celeb Jihad sent our best investigative journalist to get to the bottom of this story.
OK OK maybe we just payed a bum $20 to go through Robert Pattinson’s garbage. The point is we investigated. Anyway, it is not what we found in his garbage that will shock you, but what we did not find (though some would say the sheer volume of empty lip gloss containers is a bit shocking).
After a month of going through Robert Pattinson’s garbage we found not one used tampon! This basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is preggers!
The identity of the father is still in question, but our sources tell us it is none othr than Robert’s Twilight co-star the devastatingly handsome Kristin Stewart. But it could just as easily be any of other Hollywood leading men that Robert has been romantically linked too.
No word yet if Robert Pattinson’s pregnancy will affect the filming of the 3rd Twilight film, “Twilight 3: Bella’s Backdoor Banging” which is set to start filming in January.
