Pictures of “The Hills” star Heidi Montag after having 10 different plastic surgery procedures done to her face and body have been released.

Heidi looks fantastic! Who was the witch doctor that performed these miracles on her face? There is nothing more aesthetically pleasing then a woman who is incapapable of showing any form of expression in her face.

Spencer is a lucky man. Heidi will now be able to sit in quiet regard to her husband, and not risk a lashing for showing a sign of disapproval at his actions. I only hope for Spencer’s sake that one of the 10 plastic surgery procedures Heidi underwent was to have her clit removed. There is nothing like making sweet love to a woman who can achieve no enjoyment as she lies there with a blank look on her face.

Well the moment we’ve all been dreading is here. Heidi Montag’s Playboy pictures are out, and it is official Hugh Hefner is completely senile.

Hef paid Heidi “Horse Face” Montag to appear in Playboy clothed. If anyone gets even remotely aroused from these pictures you have a problem. A stiff breezes has more of a chance of getting me turned on then these pics do.

Recently Vanessa Hudgen’s and Ashley Greene’s lawyers have contacted me to remove the nude photos I posted of them. I am actually hoping Heidi’s lawyers do the same. In fact, Heidi’s lawyers if you are reading this, here is my email CelebJihad@gmail.com. If you want me to take these down for any reason, and I mean any reason, please contact me and I will comply posthaste.

Heidi and Spencer showed up at the premiere of “G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra” yesterday to promote Heidi’s upcoming issue of Playboy.

Honestly I could not write anything funnier then what these two actually said, so I’ll just provide the quotes. I don’t know why there is such animosity towards Heidi and Spence at least they embrace the fact that they are self-consumed, shallow, scum that contribute nothing of value to this world. Other celebrities act like they’ve just cured cancer, and condescendingly tell us that they still consider themselves “just like everyone else”.

Anyway here are Heidi and Spencer’s brilliantly stated quotes about her Playboy spread.

“I worked out very hard for this.”

“I worked by butt off,” she continued. “So if you want to see how I got my Playboy body, you can go to [my Web site].”

“See her powerful curves,” Spencer said. “They are powerful!”

“It’s an honor,” he said. “I feel like I did something great, like I should get a trophy!”

“[Playboy] kind of had a vision… and we brought in Matthew Rolston, who is a very well known amazing photographer,” she explained. “So, it’s more art.”

“Beautiful art,” Spencer added. “Not like Picasso art, real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?”