John Mayer’s penis is at the center of a major controversy. When asked if he’d ever get with a black woman during a recent interview with Playboy magazine the singer revealed that,

“I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke c*ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.”

As the backlash against John Mayer’s penis continues to grow it released this statement through its’ publicist to try and mediate the damage to its’ reputation. According to John Mayer’s penis,

“I am sad and hurt by the comments made by John Mayer about me in his recent Playboy interview. I really don’t even know where John was getting that white supremacist stuff from. I’m one of the most open-minded penises you’ll ever meet.

I’ve been in everything from women and men to animals and various warm casseroles. Sure I’ve never been in a “black”, but that’s only because they are all criminals with nappy hair, not because I am racist or anything. In fact I hangout with blacks all the time. Of course they usually get flushed before we get to know each other, but still at least I make the effort.”

Well the day we have been fearing has finally come. Tara Reid’s Playboy pictures have been leaked to the Internet!

Thank Allah the Playboy Airbrushing department put in the countless hours necessary to make these pictures viewable. I think we all remember Tara Reid making headlines for her horribly mutilated body, after her plastic surgeon Dr. Hook carved her up. You can hardly tell this girl has a grotesque scar ridden body in these pictures.

Enjoy the airbrushed glory that is these Tara Reid playboy pictures.

After years of paying her dues doing tickle porn and taking her clothes off for minor adult websites (and lets face it probably any guy who drove a nice enough car) Joanna Krupa finally made a name for herself by getting on the ABC show “Dancing With The Stars”.

Like many of the “celebrities” on “Dancing With The Stars” Joanna leveraged her appearance on the show to obtain her dream job in the entertainment industry, Playboy model.

Joanna Krupa poses naked in the December issue of Playboy. The pictures are below. I think we all can take a moment to enjoy one woman’s dream finally coming true.

Tara Reid has announced that she went completely naked for Playboy’s December issue. If that isn’t disturbing enough “Real Housewives of New York” star Kelly Bensimon is also set to appear naked in that very same issue.

What the hell is Playboy doing? Tara Reid and Kelly Bensimon in the same issue? Are they doing a salute to “The Girls of Horribly Disfiguring Plastic Surgery”. Playboy’s airbrushing department is going to have to work day and night from now till December to make those pics viewable.

Well the moment we’ve all been dreading is here. Heidi Montag’s Playboy pictures are out, and it is official Hugh Hefner is completely senile.

Hef paid Heidi “Horse Face” Montag to appear in Playboy clothed. If anyone gets even remotely aroused from these pictures you have a problem. A stiff breezes has more of a chance of getting me turned on then these pics do.

Recently Vanessa Hudgen’s and Ashley Greene’s lawyers have contacted me to remove the nude photos I posted of them. I am actually hoping Heidi’s lawyers do the same. In fact, Heidi’s lawyers if you are reading this, here is my email CelebJihad@gmail.com. If you want me to take these down for any reason, and I mean any reason, please contact me and I will comply posthaste.

Heidi and Spencer showed up at the premiere of “G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra” yesterday to promote Heidi’s upcoming issue of Playboy.

Honestly I could not write anything funnier then what these two actually said, so I’ll just provide the quotes. I don’t know why there is such animosity towards Heidi and Spence at least they embrace the fact that they are self-consumed, shallow, scum that contribute nothing of value to this world. Other celebrities act like they’ve just cured cancer, and condescendingly tell us that they still consider themselves “just like everyone else”.

Anyway here are Heidi and Spencer’s brilliantly stated quotes about her Playboy spread.

“I worked out very hard for this.”

“I worked by butt off,” she continued. “So if you want to see how I got my Playboy body, you can go to [my Web site].”

“See her powerful curves,” Spencer said. “They are powerful!”

“It’s an honor,” he said. “I feel like I did something great, like I should get a trophy!”

“[Playboy] kind of had a vision… and we brought in Matthew Rolston, who is a very well known amazing photographer,” she explained. “So, it’s more art.”

“Beautiful art,” Spencer added. “Not like Picasso art, real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?”

Here are the pictures of Olivia Munn from Playboy. Olivia is a popular host on some channel for video gamers called “G4″. Since videos games are specifically forbidden by the Qur’an (it is towards the end) I have no idea who she is.