Megan Fox is considered by many infidels to be the sexiest woman in the world, but only because us Muslims do not allow dirty kuffar eyes ogling our women.

However, as you can see in the photo above of Megan Fox before she had her face reconstructed using the Jew science of plastic surgery, she is actually not that hot. In fact pre plastic surgery Megan Fox would barely be considered f*ckable by our high Muslim standards.

Of course the current model Megan Fox 2.0 is definitely concubine material, but like most infidel women, Megan was only able to achieve that status through the dark arts. Kuffar sluts like Megan Fox clearly lack the Allah given natural beauty of our pious Musliminas.

Halle Berry has started undergoing plastic surgery to make a dramatic transformation into a duck. As the photo above clearly shows the Oscar winning actress is already starting to resemble the aquatic bird she must love so much.

Of all the birds to choose from I find Halle Berry’s choice of turning into a duck quite peculiar. The duck is one of the least sexiest birds. Now if Halle was changing her appearance to look like a quail or a finch I could understand that, those birds are hot. But a duck? That just boggles the mind.

To get to the bottom of Halle Berry’s plastic surgery duck fetish. We went and spoke to her father (at least the black homeless man outside the 7/11 claimed to be her father, who are we to argue). Halle Berry’s bum daddy told us that, “Halle Berry is a fine b*tch”. When pressed on why she would want to transform into a duck he responded, “because she be suckin dat white d*ck”.

Fascinating insight into the mind of yet another severely disturbed celebrity.

By Muhammad’s beard! Look at Miley Cyrus’ fat face in this little black dress. I don’t know why Miley Cyrus has such a bloated face, but I am willing and able to speculate.

The first and most obvious explanation is that Miley Cyrus is already having plastic surgery. Yes she is 17 years old but her face has lived a hard life. Those Disney producers are not going to service themselves after all.

The next possible explanation is that her uncle-daddy Billy Ray drank one to many PBR’s, and took out his failed career aspirations on his more successful daughter’s face.

The final explanation for Miley’s bloated dome is that she is expecting a long cold winter, and is stock piling nuts in her cheeks. This one I think is probably the most likely explanation.

Take a look at these pictures of Miley Cyrus’ stupid fat face in a little black dress and see if you can determine what is causing her bulbous head.

Pictures of “The Hills” star Heidi Montag after having 10 different plastic surgery procedures done to her face and body have been released.

Heidi looks fantastic! Who was the witch doctor that performed these miracles on her face? There is nothing more aesthetically pleasing then a woman who is incapapable of showing any form of expression in her face.

Spencer is a lucky man. Heidi will now be able to sit in quiet regard to her husband, and not risk a lashing for showing a sign of disapproval at his actions. I only hope for Spencer’s sake that one of the 10 plastic surgery procedures Heidi underwent was to have her clit removed. There is nothing like making sweet love to a woman who can achieve no enjoyment as she lies there with a blank look on her face.

In her relentless pursuit to look like she gives great head Megan Fox had plastic surgery on her lips over New Years weekend.

As you can see in the picture above Megan is trying to hide the fact that her lips are so swollen they look like Daffy Duck. What Megan fails to realize is that if she keeps messing around with her face she is going to end up looking like trash, also known as Lindsay Lohan.

If Megan Fox wants to get plastic surgery on something she should get it on her messed up toe thumbs. They make her look like her previous profession was as a clumsy carpenter. Or better yet Megan can get some plastic surgery on her acting ability, because frankly it is hideous.

Did Jay-Z get a nose job. From the comparison picture above it looks like the answer is yes.

His surgeon did an excellent job. Now instead of looking exactly like a camel Jay-Z only looks sort of like a camel. It’s remarkable!

Next Jay-Z needs to get his lips trimmed down. Those things are monsters, and they make him look like a fish. Considering Jay-Z is good friends with Kanye West I would be careful looking like a fish around him, I heard Kanye likes fish dicks because he is a gay fish.

Audrina Patridge from MTV’s “The Hills” did a topless photo spread for this month’s issue of Maxim magazine. Is it just me or is Audrina’s dull vacant stare a turn on? She looks like the type of girl that could be tricked into trading sex for some magic beans.

In the magazine Audrina talks about how she keeps it real, and hates that there are so many plastic surgery rumors about her (note to self make up more plastic surgery rumors about Audrina). Just because the girl had her boobs and teeth done does not mean it is OK to speculate about a potential brain transplant right?

Lindsay Lohan’s gigantic duck lips look great. Normally I have to punch a girl repeatedly in the mouth to achieve such an aesthetically pleasing look. It is great that Lindsay found a doctor to do it for her because my hand is starting to hurt.

For someone who is supposed to be all about munching carpet she is certainly going out of her way to get some DSLs (dick sucking lips). Perhaps this is Lindsay’s way of saying she is ready to get back on the pole. Or she is just hoping people will throw bits of bread at her in the park.

Well Lindsay Lohan finally did it! She got collagen injections in her lips and nappy extensions put in her hair.

For years people have been saying, “Yeah Lindsay is hot, but she would be much hotter if she looked like Brett Michaels”. Well lets see what they say now!

This is just the jump start Lindsay Lohan’s career needed too. Those lips will open up so many more acting opportunities for her. Now instead of being type cast as “the girl who looks like she blows a lot of guys”, she can now land roles as “the girl who looks like she blows a lot of guys well”.

No word yet if Lohan’s new look is in response to the Samantha Ronson interview in “Dykes Quarterly” in which she says she appreciates “full lips on a woman”. Of course Samantha was referring to a different set of lips, but reading comprehension has never been a strong suit for Lindsay.

Usually when you hear about celebrity plastic surgery the story involves some image obsessed celeb who went crazy and had their body and face mutilated. However, there are some celebs that go under the knife and actually come out looking better. Here is our list of the top celebrity plastic surgeries.

Name: Heidi Klum
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Although from an aesthetic standpoint the operation was a success. The doctors mistakenly removed Heidi’s taste in men resulting in her marrying the mutant singer known as “Seal”.

Name: Holly Madison
What she had done: Lots
Interesting fact: Holly paid for her surgery with the money she earned giving old men handjobs in the VIP room at “Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club” (a skill she famously capitalized on later in life).

Name: Kate Beckinsale
What she had done: Dental veneers
Interesting fact: Kate demanded that her new teeth be sculpted from the ivory of baby elephants.

Name: Ryan Gosling
What she had done: Nose job
Interesting fact: Besides the nose job Ryan also received a series of injections to his face to increase the appearance of smugness.

Name: Giselle Bundchen
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: The surgery resulted in a free Tom Brady penis implant.

Name: Adrianna Lima
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: After the surgery her boobs were bigger.

Name: Marisa Miller
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Marisa’s doctors admired her vagina while she was under anesthesia.

Name: Heather Locklear
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Even with big boobs Heather has not been attractive since the late 80′s.

Find out more about getting a nose job here.