Former child star Christina Ricci is now making her living hosting sex toy parties in Los Angeles. As you can see in the photo above Christina Ricci and her flamboyantly gay Asian male assistant are showing off the latest sex device to the delight of horny party-goers.

Christina is starting to crouch down in her short dress to prepare herself to insert the glowing orb into her well used snatch. Sources at the party confirmed that Christina easily took this and many other sex toys into her various orifices. By the end of the night Christina walked away with nearly a dozen orders, which she should see a handsome commission on.

I must congratulate Christina Ricci because performing sex acts at parties to sell sex toys is much less morally offensive then the movies she use to make in Hollywood. There is obviously still hope for her soul yet. Allahu Akbar!

Like all good Muslims yesterday, Miley Cyrus partied late in to the night celebrating the 10th anniversary of Islam’s thrilling victory over the great Satan America on 9/11/2001.

Miley Cyrus was seen dancing, shouting, and firing her AK47 into the air at the “Arabian Nights” nightclub on Sunset. For Muslims around the world September 11th has become a holy holiday, and a time to celebrate while we reflect upon how much better and tougher we are then the infidels in the United States.

Of course heathen Americans try to steal our glorious 9/11 holiday by making it about them. Have they no shame? 9/11 was a victory for Islam and is thus our holiday. Leave it to the immodest yanks to even attempt to celebrate their defeats.

Actress Rachel Bilson threw a slutty bikini party with friends in the hopes of procuring virile Muslim men for sexual pleasures.

As you can see in the picture above Rachel Bilson and her scantly clad friends flaunt their tight bodies in the hope that a Muslim man will come by and sex them. Obviously their attempts at seduction failed as no Muslim man would honor women of such ill repute with his powerful pious cock.

Rachel Bilson needs to learn that if she hopes to attract a Muslim man for sex (which she most certainly does) she can not dress like a vulgar street trollop. If Rachel Bilson wears the burka and appears obedient as she patiently prostrates herself before a Muslim man, he will eventually do her the honor of mounting her and spilling his seed.

However, until Rachel Bilson learns how to behave like a lady she will continue to go unsexed by us Muslim men.

As bad as 2009 and 2010 were for America, expect 2011 to be even worse financially. On orders from Barack Obama, the US spent its entire 2011 defense and health care budgets on a giant party at the newly-opened Cosmopolitan Hotel in Las Vegas.

While performers Jay-Z, Coldplay, Beyonce, and John Mayer were paid $1 million American dollars to play, guests dined on disgusting food prepared by chef Todd English, much of which included dishes made from dirty, dirty pigs. Gross.

The night of excess continued with unholy activities such as gambling, snorting cocaine with your friends in a bathroom stall, casual sex, and music that focused largely on designer tennis shoes.

As much as I would like to condemn these activities in the name of Allah, it actually sounded like a pretty good time. I’m angry that I didn’t get to go, but I have spoken with loyalists, and we are totally getting new publicists in 2011. We watched the ball drop with a cash bar at a Hard Rock in Beirut. What is this? 1987? Lame.

Noted thespian and lesbian Demi Lovato courageously decided to show up alone at Vanity Fairs’ Oscars Party.

Lovato, who is currently on the rebound from her very public break up with long time lover Selena Gomez, went stag to the party when she found out that her first choice for a date, Joe Jonas, was in fact a man not a dyke.

I say kudos to Demi Lovato for having the moxie to show her disgraced lesbian face in public after getting dumped by Selena. Look at these pics of Demi. She is a pretty girl and any girl would be lucky to have her feverishly lapping between their legs.