As a red-blooded Muslim man I can not help but think that Chaz Bono is one of the sexiest women alive, and I’m not alone. Chaz has taken the Muslim world by storm, capturing the hearts (and lustful desires) of Muslim men from Damascus to Tikrit with her erotic facial hair and robust frame.
What man could deny himself a quiet moment daydreaming about Chaz Bono using her ample hindquarters to drive the plow through a tough patch of field, or birthing him a baby boy with a thick full beard invoking the envy of every male in the clan. The thrills that Chaz Bono’s remarkable body offers appear to be limitless.
Of course the insensitive bigots in America do not appreciate Chaz Bono’s beauty. In fact they mock her by referring to her with the masculine pronouns “him, his, he”. Clearly years of drug abuse have warped the American aesthetic to such a degree that a once in a lifetime beauty like Chaz Bono goes unappreciated, while hopelessly hairless weaklings like Mila Kunis and Katy Perry are lusted after by the horny masses.
Hollywood can keep their skinny cleanly shaved sluts, us Muslims will take Chaz Bono so that she may birth us virile hairy Jihadists.
We here at Celeb Jihad would like to congratulate Comedy Central on doing the right thing and censoring the latest episode of the heathen show “South Park”, which continues to commit blasphemy against the blessed Prophet Muhammad.
It takes a big man to immediately cower in fear from vague anonymous threats made on the Internet, and Comedy Central has just shown that they are run by extremely big men. Some people cowardly face down danger over principles like free speech which they believe are worth defending. However, that reeks of womanly stubbornness. A real man knows to retreat immediately at the first signs of danger.
Comedy Central did the right thing by giving in over the South Park episode. Even though the vast majority of Islamic extremists are illiterate, have no television, and live in 3rd world countries, we are a terribly powerful and threatening group. Westerns would be wise to follow Comedy Centrals example and not cross us, less we go online and issue hysterical fatwas against you. Allahu Akbar!
We here at CelebJihad have always said that the Zionists are trying to ruin everything. Now, more evidence has come to light. It seems the Jews have gone and ruined Hitler for everyone!
Constantin Film, the production company behind the Adolf Hitler film Downfall that spawned hundreds of Internet parodies, has removed all such videos from YouTube in response to Zionist threats from Jewish associations in Europe. Why European Jews would feel the need to go after Hitler is beyond me. What did Hitler ever do to them? This must be part of some money making plot that the Elders of Zion have cooked up.
And look how fast the media bows to their Zionist overlords. A few rabbis get upset, and the videos come down. But when Muslims make a calm, concise request for “South Park” to be more respectful to the Prophet Mohammad, they are vilified as murders and terrorists. This double standard is beyond outrageous. It makes me want to cut someone’s head off!
At least Hitler isn’t here to see this.
There has been a lot of ink from the mainstream Jew media bashing our brethren at RevolutionMuslim.com for making a post suggesting that Muslims should kill South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker for their most recent blasphemous episode in which they depict the blessed Prophet Mohammed in a bear costume.
Though most of the time we fully support our fellow Jihadists at RevolutionMuslim.com we must admit that those guys are a bunch of pussies and couldn’t Jihad there way out of a paper bag. That is why we here at CelebJihad.com, the #1 celebrity Jihad site in the world, have decided to step up and issue a proper Fatwa against the infidel creators of South Park Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
To Whom It May Concern,
Hello, this is the official CelebJihad.com Fatwa against the defamers of the Prophet Mohammed, Trey Park and Matt Stone the creators of South Park.
Let me start by saying that it is very clearly stated in the Qur’an that Islam is a religion of love, and not violence. With that being said I am calling on every good Muslim man and woman to hunt down Trey and Matt and show them the full fury of Islam’s love by f*cking their brains out. Let us not stop until their penises are chaffed, their testicles are as dry and barren as the great desert, and their buttholes runneth over with the sperm of the righteous. We will find Trey and Matt and we will sex them until they collapse into an exhausted heap… then we will f*ck that heap.
Once Trey and Matt are properly and devastatingly sexed we will teach Comedy Central a lesson for being complacent in this offense to Allah by airing the episode which mocked the Prophet Mohammed. Comedy Central’s address is 1775 Broadway New York, NY. Let us all go down there are show our outrage and blast them with the love of Islam in person.
We will hump that building until its foundations shake. Our women will grind their naughty bits against its walls, while our men masturbate furiously in their court yard. Let us see if those Zionist pigs mock Mohammed again when they are up to their eyeballs in our sex juices.
Allahu Akbar!
Recently I watched a bootleg copy of the new George Clooney film, Up In the Air. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so offended.
I found the film to be very unrealistic and extremely insulting. For example, George Clooney’s character spends most of his life traveling the U.S. via the commercial airlines. Inexplicably, not once in the entire film does he encounter an Islamic Fundamentalist trying to bring down the plane with an underwear bomb. In fact, the only Muslims depicted in the film were normal, average Americans who were just trying to live their lives. I wholeheartedly object to this common stereotype. Zionist-controlled Hollywood wouldn’t feel comfortable depicting all Asians as dry cleaners or all Mexicans as migrant workers, so why do they feel it’s OK to depict all Muslims as tolerant, peace loving people? I resent the implication. Some of us want to destroy the Jews and force the rest of the world to convert to Islam, thank you very much!
Another aspect of the film which I found insulting was the gratuitous nudity. At one point, the side of Vera Farmiga’s breast and part of her backside are exposed for at least three seconds. While I appreciate that the film depicts Western women as promiscuous whores, couldn’t the director have found a way to do this while still having his female characters clothed, preferably in burqas? For example, in the film, Clooney meets the female lead at a bar and immediately brings her back to his hotel room. The director could have just as easily had Clooney chastise the woman for not being chaperoned by a male relative, followed by a scene of her public flogging by the religious police. The same point would have been made, but without the nudity.
All and all, I give Up in the Air 15 out of 72 virgins. Skip this insulting, sinful smut.
