Angelina Jolie, accused of killing her six children, made her first court appearance Wednesday afternoon before a magistrate. She is accused with suffocating her children and dumping the bodies in a dumpster behind a nearby Pink Berry.
The judge read Jolie the official charges against her.
Initially, Jolie claimed that she had nothing to do with the murders, but later confessed to “losing it” after “the Asian kid stepped on (her) god damn shoe, again.”
During questioning, Jolie also opened up about her mental state. According to investigators, Jolie’s last film, Salt, was panned by critics. In addition, she is still struggling with the fact that she slept with Billy Bob Thornton.
Teen sensation Demi Lovato is assisting the FBI in an ongoing investigation involving a serial killer, CelebJihad has confirmed. Using a revolutionary new virtual reality device that allows her mind to literally enter the mind of the killer, Demi will attempt to ascertain the whereabouts of three missing girls before it is too late.
While the FBI is hopeful that Demi will be unharmed, there is a good chance that the killer’s warped mind may overpower her fragile psyche, causing insanity or even death.
Demi agreed to take on the dangerous mission as part of a plea agreement stemming from the 2003 strangulation murder of her younger brother, Adolphus Lovato. If Demi is successful and survives, the charges will be dropped. If not, she may face life in prison.
(Left) Police examine the crime scene. (Right) Larry Platt on American Idol.
“There were six or seven gang bangers in baggy pants hanging out in the parking lot, and this old guy walked up to them and started singing and dancing,” said Marcus Lee, the store’s owner. “When he got to the second verse, they started beating on him.”
“I called the police, but by the time they arrived you couldn’t even recognize his face because of all the blood.”
A memorial for Platt is planned for this Saturday.
A week ago I didn’t know who Ryan Jenkins was. But today I giggled when I found out he was dead. Life’s funny like that.
Jenkins, who is suspected in the murder and mutilation of his ex-wife, Jasmine Fiore, was found dead in a Canadian hotel room from an apparent suicide.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place to kill your ex-wife (the time is after evening prayers, and the place is the center of the town square), but strangulation? At least have the decency to stone her to death.
So long, scum bag.
Sure Michael Jackson is a rotting stinking corpse right now, but that didn’t stop us from making fun of him when he was alive so I don’t see why it should stop us now.
Here are some of the latest Michael Jackson headlines.
Michael Jackson was murdered.
Apparently the LAPD are going to announce that Michael Jackson was murdered. The investigation is focusing on Michael’s doctor, Dr. Conrad Murray. I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think Blanket did it… with the candlestick… in the rape room.
Michael Jackson named his daughter after Paris Hilton.
According to Paris,
“My mom and Michael went to high school together and they were best friends since they were 13. So I grew up knowing Michael very well and when he had his daughter, he always loved the name Paris and grew up being an uncle to me. So he asked my mom if it was okay and of course she said yes and I think she’s such a beautiful little girl and I’m proud we have the same name.”
Michael Jackson had low self-esteem.
Michael Jackson was a sweet soul who cared deeply about everyone, and by “everyone” I mean Michael Jackson. Just look at this painting from Michael’s Neverland Ranch. I bet when Michael was short on “sleepover” buddies he’d blow himself.
