Celeb Jihad has just obtained this exclusive trailer for the upcoming movie “Kristianne Baille” starring Kristen Bell and Christian Bale.

I know that one shouldn’t draw too many conclusions from a trailer, but this will probably be the greatest film ever made. I think everyone involved will receive multiple Oscars, and probably get laid by a ton of super models.

The dialogue in this trailer is like poetry, and the acting so sublime I can not help but tear up every time I see it. This movie makes me question the existence of God because I can not believe there is something in this universe greater than it.

Anyway prepare yourself for this exclusive look at the new Kristen Bell and Christian Bale movie “Kristianne Baille”.

2009 was a great year for the movie industry and the money grubbing Zionists who run it. Hollywood took in record amounts of money, and more poor dumb saps packed theaters than ever before.

I of course was not one of them. My doctors don’t let me watch movies because they make me “agitated”. The closest I get to seeing a real movie is watching the Sunday night movie on CBS, and those get me pretty worked up. I can only imagine how bad big Hollywood blockbusters are. If they have just as much salty language and subtle sexual innuendo as the last CBS movie I saw, Tom Selleck’s “Thin Ice”, then this whole country will be feeling the fierce wrath of Allah soon.

Here is a mashup of all the movies from 2009. Even though I have not seen any of these films just from watching this I can tell they are blasphemous and everyone involved in the making of them should be executed immediately.

Tiger Woods and his estranged wife Elin Nordegren have been cast in a new movie. The film which is scheduled to begin shooting in February is a sequel to the popular “Broke Back Mountain” franchise tentatively titled “Broke Black Golfer”.

In the movie Tiger will play a cowboy golfer with a penchant for whores… lots of whores. Elin will play his cowgirl wife who is stuck at the ranch watching the little ones as Tiger goes out on his late night “roundups”.

The movie’s climax comes when a group of bandits storm the ranch while Tiger is in town fingering a bar maid. Elin fights them off with her trusty 9-iron. When Tiger returns home stinking of cigarettes and Astroglide Elin has finally had enough and she smashes Tiger’s face with a 3-wood. The movie ends with Elin divorcing Tiger and getting a 300 million dollar settlement. It’s a real tearjerker.

There has been a lot of talk recently about the new James Cameron movie “Avatar”. Some people think it is a revolutionary work of art, others think it is complete crap.

Instead of possibly wasting your time and money actually going to see this questionable film we have provided an image that summarizes the movie beautifully in 5 frames. This way you can judge for yourself if Avatar is worth going to the theater to see.

Here is “Avatar” in 5 frames.

Here is some exclusive behind the scenes footage of Rachel Bilson shooting a nude sex scene for her new movie.

Though the director claims to be using a body double for the nude portions of this scene I am not convinced. Either this body double has the exact same body as Rachel, or she went through with the nude scene and just pretended she did not.

Either way this video is ridiculously hot, so be prepared to become extremely aroused!

We mentioned last week that Jessica Alba gets her bare ass spanked in a scene in her new movie “The Killer Inside Me”.

Well we have now received the video of this glorious scene. I don’t know what is more gratifying, finally seeing Jessica Alba’s ass, or the fact that someone is beating her. I must admit that I do appreciate the direction Jessica’s career is taking, and I’ve got a wonderful part for her in my new movie. Of course there is a scene were she’ll have to take a cattle prod to the tits, but that shouldn’t be a problem.

Here is the video of the Jessica Alba spank scene from “The Killer Inside Me”.

Finally we are making some progress with Jessica Alba. After years of her making horrible movies and not showing us some much as one nipple, Jessica has finally caved in and shown her bare ass in a movie.

The movie is called “The Killer Inside Me”. I assume it is about Jessica Alba getting railed by a killer. As you can see from the screen caps below there is a scene in the movie in which Jessica finally shows some skin in the form of her naked butt. Kudos to you Jessica, but frankly after making “Good Luck Chuck” with Dane Cook you owe us a lot more nudity than this.