Celeb Jihad has just received the exclusive trailer (see below) from a new Spiderman movie, and boy am I disappointed.

While the acting is considerably better than any of the previous Spiderman movies, the plot is completely unoriginal. I thought this new Spiderman was supposed to be a reboot, but I just see more of the same, with a lot of lip-flapping between scenes of Spiderman banging Mary Jane raw dog.

If this is the best those Zionists in Hollywood can come up with then I’m not going out to masturbate in the theater, at least until that Adventures of Tintin movie comes out.

With the release of the final Harry Potter movie just 2 weeks away, Universal studios has announced plans to create a Harry Potter spin-off movie based around Emma Watson’s character of “Hermione”.

According to reports, Emma Watson will revise her role as Hermione, as well as play 3 new characters. The story will center around the girls struggling with their sexual orientation while attending school at “Hogwarts”.

With the preliminary screenplay for the movie featuring over 200 different scenes of girl on girl and girl on wand action, this is definitely going to be one movie to watch for in 2012.

Summer is fast approaching and that means one thing here in Hollywood, big blockbuster movies. However, one movie this summer will surely stand out above the rest, and it is called “I Was Worth 50 Sheep”.

“I Was worth 50 Sheep” is the story of a brave man named Golmohammad, and his struggles to find a good wife. After he had to kill his first 2 wives for disobediance, 50-year-old Golmohammad purchases 10-year-old Sabere for 50 sheep and some waste land.

Of course Golmohammad overpaid for Sabere, but as every guy knows, when you see a 10-year-old girl you like you tend to do silly things. Golmohammad did his manly duty and courageously impregnated Sabere 4 times, but Sabere was defective and miscarried each time. So Golmohammad did what a man should do, he beat Sabere for having an unaccommodating womb.

The movie starts off with Sabere having just abandoned Golmohammad by running away, and hiding out with her family. Of course she is still the property of Golmohammad, and he is rightfully trying to kill her so that she will learn to not disobey him.

Will Golmohammad find and kill Sabere? Will Golmohammad ever find a proper wife? You will have to see for yourself when “I Was Worth 50 Sheep” hits theaters. This is a definitely the can’t miss film of the summer. Check out the trailer below. I give it 4.5 IEDs out of 5. Allahu Akbar!

By Muhammad’s beard this is a disturbing development. As you can clearly see in the scientific photo above, Hollywood has created a Jew hybrid to star in the new movie “The Social Network”.

This Jew hybrid is a result of combing Jew actor Michael Cera with Jew comedian Andy Sandberg. They call this Jew hybrid “Jesse Eisenberg”, and he is one Jewy looking Jew.

Now that the Zionists in Hollywood have perfected creating Jew hybrids it is only a matter of time before they create an army of annoying Jew actors with no talent who inexplicably get starring roles in movies. Can you imagine how irritating and unfunny a Jason Biggs, Jonah Hill hybrid would be, or Allah forbid a Jeff Goldblum, Steve Guttenberg hybrid?

The Zionists have gone too far this time. Proud Muslim warriors rise up. We must put an end to this Jew hybrid problem before our eyes runneth over with hooked nose, mouth breathing, Jew-froed acting.

The new movie Sex and The City 2 exemplifies the dangers of feminist thinking and the woman’s rights movement in general.

To understand how we got to the point were we have movies about menopausal tramps in stupid looking shoes running around the desert looking for penis, you must first learn about the history of feminism.

Feminism was started by homely looking women with the noble intention of getting better looking women to stop shaving their legs, so that they would be less promiscuous. However, gradually the feminist movement was taken over by sluts who wanted to make it socially acceptable for women to do all sorts of ludicrous and down right dangerous things like going out in public without a male chaperon, and wearing dresses cut above the ankle.

Because women in the western world, being the simple minded creatures that they are, have followed this whore mentality we are now exposed to movies like “Sex and the City 2″. A story of 4 women who spend their limited mental capacities thinking exclusively about consumer products and man meat. They then go to Abu Dhabi in search of both. Obviously the movie was not shot in the real Abu Dhabi, but rather a Jew run studio lot, because any self respecting Arab country would behead these gutter skanks as soon as they set foot on holy Muslim land.

Feminism in the west has succeeded in freeing women from the confines of a male dominated society. Unfortunately women, as epitomized by the floozies in Sex and The City, with their underdeveloped brains and lack of self-control can not handle such freedom, and have digressed into a base creature entirely consumed with shopping and f*cking.

Blake Lively has been a very naughty girl. In these pictures from the little known UK movie “The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee”, Blake plays a young girl who gets chained down and spanked in some sort of lesbian fantasy sequence.

No word yet if this fantasy sequence proceeds like mine would with Blake Lively getting a nose job, then taking her huge tits and smacking me in the face with them until I pass out, but since this film didn’t get rated “the most awesome movie ever” I think it is safe to assume that doesn’t happen.

Enjoy these pics of Black Lively getting what she deserves by being bent over, chained, and spanked.

Celeb Jihad has just obtained this exclusive trailer for the upcoming movie “Kristianne Baille” starring Kristen Bell and Christian Bale.

I know that one shouldn’t draw too many conclusions from a trailer, but this will probably be the greatest film ever made. I think everyone involved will receive multiple Oscars, and probably get laid by a ton of super models.

The dialogue in this trailer is like poetry, and the acting so sublime I can not help but tear up every time I see it. This movie makes me question the existence of God because I can not believe there is something in this universe greater than it.

Anyway prepare yourself for this exclusive look at the new Kristen Bell and Christian Bale movie “Kristianne Baille”.