Various reputable online news outlets are reporting that Justin Bieber has just been arrested for molesting one of his fans.

According to reports it all started when Justin Bieber was hosting a sleep over for a few friends and fans at his mom’s house. Apparently at around 1:00am the group decided to play a game called “7 minutes in heaven”. 7 minutes in heaven is a kissing game in which 2 people are selected to go into a closet and do whatever they like for 7 minutes.

Justin Bieber and the 17 year old alleged victim were chosen to enter the closet first, and when they emerged the alleged victim was in tears. She immediately contacted police and filed molestation charges against Justin Bieber.

According to sources Justin Bieber was taken into custody and booked for sexual acts on a minor. He was then transported to county lockup to await trial.

Justin Bieber has various gang affiliations, especially with the Crips, so he should have no problems in prison. Let us hope these rumors about him being a degenerate pedophile are proven false in court, but for right now it does not look good for Bieber.

Finally the mystery of how Michael Jackson’s accuser in the 1993 molestation case could describe Michael’s discolored genitals has been solved!

According to Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson’s long time best friend and doctor, the singer liked to pee in front of people, especially children. Dr. Klein said Jackson thought it was funny. Dr Klein went on to say that Michael Jackson’s accuser must have seen one of his piss shows and that was how he was able to describe Michael’s naughty bits.

All you Michael Jackson haters who thought he was some sick weirdo must feel pretty silly right now. There is nothing more natural than a grown man exposing himself and urinating in front of children. Who hasn’t gone into a men’s room and stood next to a child at the urinal and gave them a little “Psst” with a gentle smile and a wink?