Furious that another whore woman is trying to steal her thunder. Original Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel is now claiming that she did in fact have an affair with Tiger Woods and that it was her that Tiger and his wife Elin were fighting about not Jaimee Grubbs
According to Rachel, less than an hour before Tiger’s accident, her and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger, grabbed the phone, and called Rachel to confront her.
After first denying that she and Tiger ever even met (you know until her lawyers can work out a large fee for the story) Rachel is changing her tune, as slut after slut have started to come forward with stories of getting railed by Woods. She released this statement today*,
“I can no longer stand idly by while people take credit for my great accomplishment. I am Tiger’s top f*ck slut! He’s told me so on numerous occasions! No girl has garbled his marbles nastier and with more enthusiasm than me. So let the record show that I am the biggest home wrecking whore. God bless!”
*Not really
One of Tiger Woods “alleged” mistresses, Jamiee Grubbs, has released some texts and a voicemail she says are from Tiger. Here are the texts Woods allegedly sent to Grubbs,
“I will wear you out…when was the last time you got (bleeped)?”
*Hint the bleeped part is not “your pilates on”
“Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture).”
*The word “naughty” is open to interpretation. It is possible Tiger wanted her to take a picture of herself killing a cat or taking a dump.
If these texts weren’t damning enough for poor Tiger, the whore… I mean “mistress” also released a voicemail he left her warning her that his wife had gone through his phone, and begging her to take her name off her voicemail. Here is that voicemail…
Later in the evening Jaimee received a call from a blocked number which of course she answered. Jaimee claims the caller did not identify herself but said, “You know who this is because you’re f**king my husband.”
Jaimee responded, “that narrows it down to about 20 people could you be more specific?” (maybe she didn’t say that, but I bet she was thinking it)
Well the flood gates are now officially open. A new woman has come forward claiming to be Tiger Woods mistress.
Her name is Jaimee Grubbs. She claims she met Tiger in Las Vegas in 2007. She was a cocktail waitress at the time. According to Jamiee she had a long-running affair with Tiger.
If Jamiee Grubbs looks familiar that is because she is no stranger to being the other woman. On the 1st season of VH1′s “Tool Academy”, Jamiee was one of the girls who brought on her boyfriend because he acted like a tool.
Half way through the show Jaimee was shocked when another woman appeared and claimed to be her boyfriend’s real long time girlfriend. The tool confirmed that the other woman was his real girlfriend and Jaimee was just something on the side.
I have a feeling a few more women are going to come forward before this is all said and done. Tiger should have stuck with the long drive instead of trying to 2 putt.
It looks like Tiger Woods needs a new driver.
In an apologetic statement released today, Woods said that the accident he was in early Friday morning was his fault. Tiger then went on to make a startling confession.
I know there has been a lot of nasty rumors going around about me. Well as this accident plainly shows they are true. I am in fact half-asian, so I am a horrible driver.
Asians have long been known to be a scourge on our nation’s roads. For years Tiger Woods apologists have claimed that being half-black overpowered the horrible driving genes he got from his Asian mother. However after this recent incident we can see that unfortunately for Tiger this is not the case.
No word yet what other parts of Tiger are Asian, but according to sources close to the couple, Tiger and his wife have been fighting a lot recently. This will inevitably lead to further speculation that Tiger Woods is also Asian in the pants.
This is Amber from Dallas, TX and apparently she is Kobe Bryant’s secret girlfriend. People that know her in Dallas say that Kobe has been banging her for months, sending her sexual texts, and even flew her out to LA for a few Lakers’ games.
Amber does look like Kobe’s type, that is to say a completely average looking white girl. Maybe Kobe thought if he took this frumpy girl as his mistress it would be easier to keep secret.
If this affair gets confirmed Kobe better be ready to take his wife jewelry shopping. After that whole rape thing Kobe gave his wife a 8-carat purple diamond ring worth about $4 million. I wonder how much she will charge him for Amber?
