Rachel Uchitel, noted home wrecker and queen of the Tiger Woods harem, has joined the cast of “Extra” as a special correspondent whorespondent. Uchitel’s stint on the celebrity-news show will consist primarily of interviews, although one could imagine she may end up servicing the show’s producers as well, provided they are married.
Only in America (and probably South America, Europe, and parts of Asia, Africa and Australia) could a tramp like this parlay adultery into a job. From Monica Lewinsky to Ashley Dupre to Jay Leno, Uchitel joins the growing list of celebrities who have had to suck off a married man to get on TV.
I wish I was back in Saudi Arabia, where one gets ahead through persistence and hard work, the result of which can be used to purchase camels and young prepubescent Sudanese boys with which to bribe the local chieftains or clerics.
Here’s a clip of “Extra” correspondent whorespondent Rachel Uchitel interviewing a eunuch.
Never one to mince words, porn star and alleged Tiger Woods mistress Holly Sampson was actually claiming to have “f*cked” Tiger Woods back on May 26th.
In a web video for some adult site, Holly and another porn star are interviewed. When Holly is asked if she has ever had sex with anyone famous she first name drops Kevin Costner (who apparently has an enormous dong). Then Holly casually mentions she had sex Tiger Woods.
This leads her into the whole story of how her and Tiger met, and what he was like in bed saying,
“I f*cked Tiger Woods. … Me and my girlfriends did a bachelor party for Tiger and it was amazing. And then he picked me to go in the room. I have to say he was really good.”
“I think it’s pretty amazing. He’s like the whitest black boy you’ve ever met. His teeth are perfect and he’s the perfect gentleman. He’s beautiful.”
Sampson also confirmed performing oral sex on Woods and that he used a condom.
“It was pretty simple, straight up sex. He’s got a lot to protect himself from too. I think he would probably die if he knew I was telling this on the internet but that’s okay, I don’t care. It was fun, it’s not like it was any big mystery.”
Here is video of Holly Sampson discussing banging Tiger Woods back on May 26th. Enjoy!
Well it turns out that not only is one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses a porn star, but she is also a high class “escort” (which is French for prostitute).
Holly Sampson, who I believe was the 4th woman to come forward about having an affair with Tiger Woods, is a fairly well known porn star. However, Holly is a real go-getter and she was not satisfied just having sex on film for money, so she branched out into selling sex to just about anyone who is willing to pay for it. As this screen shot from her profile on an escort website shows.
Holly’s escort profile reads:
I want to be that special someone whom you’ll REMEMBER. I want to make sure that when we part you’re left completely WALKING ON AIR. The memory of my smile should WARM you. The sound of my laugh should LINGER in your mind. The touch of my hand on yours should leave you – BREATHLESS…
With such poetry in her profile how could Tiger resist? Now the only question is did she make Tiger pay, or did he get a freebie for being famous and having really white teeth?
The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods’ harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
“Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. “What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?”
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today’s black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, “I’m not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I’m just asking you to give back to your own community.”
Furious that another whore woman is trying to steal her thunder. Original Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel is now claiming that she did in fact have an affair with Tiger Woods and that it was her that Tiger and his wife Elin were fighting about not Jaimee Grubbs
According to Rachel, less than an hour before Tiger’s accident, her and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger, grabbed the phone, and called Rachel to confront her.
After first denying that she and Tiger ever even met (you know until her lawyers can work out a large fee for the story) Rachel is changing her tune, as slut after slut have started to come forward with stories of getting railed by Woods. She released this statement today*,
“I can no longer stand idly by while people take credit for my great accomplishment. I am Tiger’s top f*ck slut! He’s told me so on numerous occasions! No girl has garbled his marbles nastier and with more enthusiasm than me. So let the record show that I am the biggest home wrecking whore. God bless!”
*Not really
One of Tiger Woods “alleged” mistresses, Jamiee Grubbs, has released some texts and a voicemail she says are from Tiger. Here are the texts Woods allegedly sent to Grubbs,
“I will wear you out…when was the last time you got (bleeped)?”
*Hint the bleeped part is not “your pilates on”
“Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture).”
*The word “naughty” is open to interpretation. It is possible Tiger wanted her to take a picture of herself killing a cat or taking a dump.
If these texts weren’t damning enough for poor Tiger, the whore… I mean “mistress” also released a voicemail he left her warning her that his wife had gone through his phone, and begging her to take her name off her voicemail. Here is that voicemail…
Later in the evening Jaimee received a call from a blocked number which of course she answered. Jaimee claims the caller did not identify herself but said, “You know who this is because you’re f**king my husband.”
Jaimee responded, “that narrows it down to about 20 people could you be more specific?” (maybe she didn’t say that, but I bet she was thinking it)
Well the flood gates are now officially open. A new woman has come forward claiming to be Tiger Woods mistress.
Her name is Jaimee Grubbs. She claims she met Tiger in Las Vegas in 2007. She was a cocktail waitress at the time. According to Jamiee she had a long-running affair with Tiger.
If Jamiee Grubbs looks familiar that is because she is no stranger to being the other woman. On the 1st season of VH1’s “Tool Academy”, Jamiee was one of the girls who brought on her boyfriend because he acted like a tool.
Half way through the show Jaimee was shocked when another woman appeared and claimed to be her boyfriend’s real long time girlfriend. The tool confirmed that the other woman was his real girlfriend and Jaimee was just something on the side.
I have a feeling a few more women are going to come forward before this is all said and done. Tiger should have stuck with the long drive instead of trying to 2 putt.
