Miley Cyrus, her pushed-up boobs, and some old guy she is banging right now (lets call him Beardo) were all in attendance at the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Rocks Party Fun Time in Hollywood last night before the Oscars.

Miley was said to be so moved by the party that she is now open to giving AIDS a chance in her life. According to a source close to Cyrus, “She use to think that AIDS was just something the blacks and queers got, but she has now come to realize that filthy c*m sl*t Hollywood whores can get it too… and that intrigues her.”

No word yet if Beardo is carrying and will be infecting Miley, but the bug chasing actress should have no problem finding a carrier among the bevy of Hollywood hunks on the “DL” that she can easily persuade into having a night of unprotected anal love making.

Miley Cyrus was out walking yesterday with a mysterious old man. No one knows for sure the identity of Miley’s companion but Celeb Jihad has learned that it is most likely 42-year-old Chet Herpenstein from Van Nuys, CA.

According to our sources, Chet lured Miley into his Mom’s van by asking her to help look for his lost puppy, and the two have been inseparable since. Chet’s mom Gloria Herpenstein is none to pleased about her son dating Miley though. She has been complaining to friends that she hears weird noises coming from his room down in the basement, and that the door is always locked when it never use to be in the past.

Here are the pictures of Miley Cyrus and her old man companion going for a walk together. Not pictured is Miley trying to slip a note to the photographer before being tasered and dragged back to a nearby residence.

Musical dream team Miley Cyrus and Bret Michaels have teamed up again for another song that will surely go down in music history. After Miley recorded her own version of Bret Michaels’ hit “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” the pair have teamed up again for Bret’s new single “Nothing to Lose”.

Besides being one of the greatest songs ever written featuring 2 of the greatest vocalists of our generation in Miley Cyrus and Bret Michaels, this song also features an underlying tone of taboo erotica. The song “Nothing to Lose” is reminiscent of Nabokov’s literary masterpiece “Lolita” in its subtle sexual undertones. The 46-year-old womanizer Bret Michaels and the 17-year-old slut Miley Cyrus singing about their love for each other is as good as it gets.

I assume the songs title “Nothing to Lose” refers to Bret’s disregard for the jail time he will undoubtedly serve once the district attorney hears this track. Listen to the Miley Cyrus Bret Michaels “Nothing to Lose” duet for yourself below.

Miley Cyrus wore a wife beater and headed to a tanning salon yesterday in the hopes that a MTV casting director would see her and offer her a role on the upcoming season of “The Jersey Shore”.

Sadly for Miley no one of importance took notice. However, there appears to be an interesting phenomenon going on in the crotchal region of Miley’s shorts. The fabric of her shorts is being sucked up into her cooter, willfully defying the laws of gravity. The only plausible explanation could be that Miley’s crotch has developed a black hole.

I am sure scientists are still trying to calculate how long we have until Miley’s crotch black hole engulfs enough mass to expand exponentially sucking in our planet, and most likely the whole Milky Way galaxy, into her privates. With what little time we have left check out these terrifying pictures of Miley Cyrus’ short shorts covering the black hole that will surely kill us all someday soon.

Wow this is getting good. After we just reported that Demi Lovato, heart broken from her recent breakup with longtime girlfriend Selena Gomez, had taken a lesbian vacation. Demi is back in LA and dating none other than noted town bicycle Miley Cyrus.

Skeptics will argue that Miley is just an obvious rebound for Demi, but I see the way they are looking at each other in these pictures and there is obviously a spark between them. Not to mention these 2 young dykes have a lot in common. They both whore themselves for the Disney channel, and they both make terrible songs even with aid of super computers.

The Miley Cyrus Demi Lovato power couple or “Milato” (if that is to racial charged we can go with “Demrus”) is the hottest thing going in Hollywood right now. As these pictures show these passionate lesbian girls make an adorable couple.

Noah Cyrus the 9-year-old younger sister of Disney star Miley Cyrus and her best friend Emily Grace have announced the launch of their new clothing line.

The clothing line will be called “Ooh! La, La Couture” and feature various short fluffy skirts and fishnet stockings for girls ages 5-12.

Wow this clothing line is going to be awesome! I think I speak for all the other leering pedophiles out there when I say it wouldn’t kill young girls these days to try to sex up there outfits a little more. I mean come on, a guy can only get so turned on looking at Dora the Explorer and Hello Kitty prints.

Kudos to you Noah and to the whole Cyrus family for finally providing a clothing outlet for young girls to express their sexual side.

Here is a video of Noah Cyrus and her friend Emily Grace discussing their upcoming clothing line with big sister Miley.

Miley Cyrus was caught on camera yesterday selling her pet dog! I think the pictures of Miley below speak for themselves.

Miley Cyrus was out on the street yesterday carrying around her beloved dog “Smuckers”, when she happened upon a gay man. Miley offered to trade her dog Smuckers, some gently used anal beads, and a case of Jif peanut butter (the #1 choice of choosy moms) for his large negro companion. The deal went down rather quickly and Miley was accompanied by her new love slave and his large low hanging fruit to her Prius.

Here are the photos from the incident. Frankly I find it despicable that Miley could sell her dog, but of course for a slut like Miley the allure of a big black one can be overwhelming.