We all know that when it comes to love, Taylor Swift seems to always get the short end of the stick. In fact Taylor Swift has made a career from her unlucky love life by writing mildly annoying country-esque songs about all the men who have pretended to love her just to get their dick’s wet.

Now according to the video above, Taylor Swift has been loved and left one too many times and has finally snapped. She now creepily wonders the halls of her mansion in a old wedding dress while her black lifeless eyes search desperately for a man to marry. A fitting end for a harlot who dared to defy the time tested institution of arranged marriage.

Devout Muslim Miley Cyrus showed her disdain for gay marriage by getting a new tattoo on her pointer finger (the gayest of all fingers). As you can see in the picture above Miley’s new tat is off 2 erect penises parallel to each other. This tattoo symbolizes that men should never be together, for these dicks will never touch.

Of course the homosexual Zionist propaganda machine is already all over this story, trying to spin it by claiming that Miley Cyrus’ tat is an “equals” sign, and shows her support for gay marriage. This is just ridiculous because an equal sign has nothing to do with gays, as every knows that they are horrible at math.

No, Miley Cyrus’ new tattoo is definitely of two cocks, and proves that she is staunchly anti-gay marriage. Kudous, to Miley Cyrus for again taking a moral stand against the heathen fudge packers, may they forever be unwed. Allahu Akbar!

Reports are surfacing that one time Democratic Presidential candidate and Senator John Edwards is engaged to his longtime mistress Rielle Hunter.

John Edwards unfairly received heavy criticism from the Zionist controlled media for taking a mistress while his then wife Elizabeth Edwards battled cancer. The high and mighty media pundits acted like if their car was in the shop they wouldn’t go pick up a rental.

Elizabeth Edwards finally passed away early December, allowing John and Rielle to get on with their lives, and get on with it they did.

According to our sources at “Stonewall Memorial Gardens”, late last night an obviously intoxicated John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made their way over to his dead wife’s grave. They proceeded to make out on top of the grave before John dropped to one knee and proposed marriage to Rielle. The love birds then proceeded to kiss and grope each other, followed by John pressing Rielle up against the tombstone to dry hump her.

The newly engaged couple then hurried home to continue the celebrations further. One graveyard worker claims to have heard John tell Rielle that,

“We can f*ck in my bed tonight. I had the maid burn all of Elizabeth’s belongings, so there won’t be any of that awful cancer smell.”

As we head into 2011 we here at CelebJihad would just like to congratulate John Edwards and Rielle Hunter on their engagement. The new year brings many new and exciting changes, and we are glad to see that John has embraced change so enthusiastically. For as it says in the Qur’an “out with the old and in with the new”. Allahu Akbar!

The dowry goat’s milk is still fresh and already Carrie Underwood has disgraced her new husband Mike Fisher.

Carrie Underwood was photographed frolicking in the ocean like a complete and utter whore. Doesn’t Carrie Underwood realize she is married now? Her days of splashing around in water should be over.

When Mike Fisher bought Carrie Underwood from the male elders of her clan I am sure he was expecting to get a proper wife. A woman who was reserved and attentive. A woman who waits at her husband’s foot ready to give out blowjobs and sandwiches on command.

I’m sorry to say it but I think Mike Fisher got a lemon with Carrie Underwood, and he should return her immediately. She has already disgraced him with these photos of her wearing a bikini and splashing in the ocean, and I can not help but feel this is just the beginning of her whorish acting out.

There has been a lot of speculation about the reason behind Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s rushed wedding this weekend.

The two love birds just announced they were a couple 2 weeks ago, and it is now confirmed that they will be walking down the aisle on Sunday. What is the hurry? Is Khloe pregnant? Does Lamar have a life threatening disease?

Well as it turns out when Khloe was a child she was by far the most attractive Kardashian sister. Her beauty was talked about far and wide. This made her sister the evil witch Kim Kardashian insanely jealous and she cast a spell on Khloe turning her into the ogre faced monster we know today. The only way the spell can be broken is if Khloe marries a large black man by midnight this Sunday. When she does she will turn back into a real girl!