As us Muslims know, most celebrities are not actually human, but rather shape-shifting reptilian creatures hell-bent on destroying the human race for the profit of the Zionists and the glory of their lord Satan.
Thanks to advancements in the Jew sciences of airbrushing and Photoshop, celebrities have been able to keep their horrible true forms hidden… until now.
As you can see in the before and after airbrushing photos below, the true nature of the heathen celebrities is finally revealed, and it is frightening.
Penelope Cruz
Madonna
Mariah Carey
Kourtney Kardashian
Keira Knightley
Jessica Alba
Faith Hill
Britney Spears
When you think of old crusty dried up vaginas one name immediately comes to mind, Madonna. That is why it is no surprise that the vaginal lubrication company “Vagisil” has signed Madonna to be their spokeswoman and appear in their Super Bowl commercial this Sunday.
As you can see by the leaked footage above, the Vagisil Super Bowl AD will feature Madonna dragging her nasty irritated lady parts across the ground, and will serve as a disturbing reminder to older women of the importance of lubricating their sin bits.
Yes the name Madonna will soon forever be synonymous with vaginal irritation. If my money wasn’t all tied up in goats and sleeper cells right now I’d invest heavily in Vagisil, for this powerful imagery is sure to bring in record profits.
Madonna made headlines this weekend when she pulled down her top exposing her boob in concert.
Many have speculated that the Islamic world would be outraged by this, considering Madonna performed this stunt in the Muslim country of Turkey. However, there has been no uproar by us Muslims over Madonna showing her saggy tit, and that is because nothing about her or her breasts are even remotely sexual.
In fact seeing Madonna’s old lady boobie brings back fund memories for me of my childhood on the the family farm in Kandahar, Afghanistan. My grandmother use to whip out her tit all the time for the baby goats to suckle on. Of course Grandma’s breast was as dry as the Sahara, but both she and the goats seemed to enjoy the sucking so there was no harm done.
Former pop star and current grotesque old whore Madonna recently had the below topless pictures leaked to the Internet and they are nasty.
Looking at these topless Madonna pics is like coming down with a bad case of diarrhea in your eyes. Madonna’s body is nothing short of a war crime, and she should be prosecuted under international law for ever revealing it.
Honesty there is really no words to describe how bad Madonna looks in these pics. They should serve as a warning for all infidel women though. If you behave like Madonna and defy the will of Allah by prostituting your body and converting to Judaism, your punishment will be swift, just, and frighteningly terrible.
|
|
|
Proving the old Arab saying that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… and Madonna and her daughter are sluts“, Madonna’s 15-year-old daughter Lourdes appeared in public wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini, brazenly flaunting her busty teen boobs.
This picture of Lourdes in a bikini comes right on the heels of the picture of Kim Kardashian’s 15-year-old half sister Kendall prostituting herself in a slutty cheerleader outfit. I am beginning to wonder if Western society has degraded to the point in which all 15-year-old girls are already tremendous whores.
One thing is for certain, we must find out for sure. That is why I am personally going to show up at a local high school (restraining order be damned) and I will proposition every 15-year-old girl I see. If they accept then we will know that 15-year-olds are without hope, and if they decline my advances (doubtful) then Lourdes and Kendall are isolated cases that must be dealt with before they infect others in their age group.
May Allah be with me and give me strength as I try to seduce my way to the truth. Allahu Akbar!
She is named after the mother of God, but to the 75 workers at this sweatshop in Botswana, the “Material Girl” is anything but. Here at this dingy factory 25 miles south of Orapa, pop-icon Madonna forces men, women and children to work in deplorable conditions for little or no pay.
In a scene that is familiar across the globe, the workers were lured to the factory with the promise of fair wages. However, when pay day arrived, the workers were told that they were being charged for food, shelter, and Madonna albums they thought were a gift. Since the fees incurred far surpassed their wages, the workers were told they would have to stay and work off their debt.
“When I arrived at the camp, I was given a copy of Madonna’s album, Hard Candy,” said Ian Lekoa, a former employee who escaped from the camp last month. “At the end of the month, they told me I owed $35 dollars for the album. I could not pay, so they beat me and made me work.”
Added Lekoa, “It was a horrible album.”
Madonna, who is said to personally oversee the camp via web cam, has also made several visits. She reportedly enjoys flogging workers who can not name her most recent albums.
“She ask me my favorite album, and I says to her, I say I love the Like a Virgin,” said Ashleigh, a young woman who worked at the camp until gangrene took her hands. “Then she say to name her a recent album, and when I couldn’t, she beat me with reeds until me passed out.”
Madonna is currently working on her new album, “Like a Virgin II: The Search for Curly’s Gold,” and was not available for comment.
What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.
However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.
Al Gore
Carrie Fisher
Dane Cook
David Letterman
Gary Coleman
George Foreman
Heath Ledger
Jude Law
Keira Knightley
Kelsey Grammer
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Spacey
Lance Armstrong
Larry King
Madonna
Minnie Driver
Natalie Portman
Nick Cage
Orlando Bloom
Penelope Cruz
Sigourney Weaver
Tom Cruise
Tori Spelling
Wesley Snipes
Will Smith
Winona Ryder
