Celeb Jihad - The Only Celebrity Gossip Site Run by Islamic Extremists » Lamar Odom

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Prenup Details!

Jimmy Jihad — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:02:27 +0000

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have finally worked out the details of their prenup, and CelebJihad.com has obtained all the exclusive details.

In the event of divorce, Mr. Odom will retain no less than 1/3 of the junk in Mrs. Kardashian’s trunk.
In the event that Mr. Odom is charged with the grizzly stabbing death of Mrs. Kardashian, the ghost of Robert Kardashian will act as his legal representation.
The couple agrees to split all proceeds from their soon to be “stolen” sex tape, Ebony and Ugly.
Mr. Odom agrees never to reveal the secret location of Bruce Jenner’s sarcophagus.
Mrs. Kardashian will retain custody of any of the couples children, but Mr. Odom will retain merchandising and animation rights for the couples first born son, Calabasas Seacrest Kardodom.
In the interest of objectivity, any divorce proceedings will be decided by a jury of peers who have no idea who the fuck “Billy Bush” is.
If children are conceived, any custody hearings will be heard by a state family court judiciary. And the children will be just awful.

We Told You Yesterday: The Kardashian-Odom Wedding Was Faked

Jimmy Jihad — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:37:45 +0000

At 10:42 EST on Monday CelebJihad.com reported that the Khloe Kardashian-Lamar Odom wedding was as fake as your mother’s tits. And Guess who was right, bitches?!

TMZ is now reporting that the wedding was fake, and that lawyers are still working on a prenup! So eat it!
That's right, bitches, we broke this story wide open, and it took the other websites a full day-and-a-half to catch up to us. The fact that we made up most of the details is irrelevant. We were right!

We’ll take that Pulitzer now, please!

Eat our camel crap, everybody! We won!

Click here to see the article in question.

Exclusive: The Kardashian-Odom Wedding Was Faked

Jimmy Jihad — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:24:33 +0000

It was the wedding of the year, with a who’s who of Hollywood celebrities and basketball VIPs in attendance. But there was just one problem; the wedding of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom was faked, CelebJihad can confirm.

The couple has yet to produce the bloodstained bedsheets from their wedding night. Sources close to the couple have stated that this is because Kardashian was in fact not a virgin at the time of her marital ceremony, making the union completely null and void in the eyes of Allah.

It is believed that Odom was aware of his bride’s non-virgin status and went ahead with the sham as part of an orchestrated publicity stunt. However, at least one source has told us that Odom was in the dark on Khloe’s impurity. If this is the case, Odom is well within his rights to have Kardashian stoned in a public setting. Due to public interest in such an event the stoning would most likely be held at the Staples Center, where Odom plays for the Lakers, or the Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles.

When asked if he would be interested in creating a show about the possible stoning death of Khloe, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” producer Ryan Seacrest said, “I’m seriously thinking about it,” according to People Magazine.

Why Khloe Kardashian And Lamar Odom Are Getting Married

Durka Durka — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:23:49 +0000

There has been a lot of speculation about the reason behind Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s rushed wedding this weekend.

The two love birds just announced they were a couple 2 weeks ago, and it is now confirmed that they will be walking down the aisle on Sunday. What is the hurry? Is Khloe pregnant? Does Lamar have a life threatening disease?

Well as it turns out when Khloe was a child she was by far the most attractive Kardashian sister. Her beauty was talked about far and wide. This made her sister the evil witch Kim Kardashian insanely jealous and she cast a spell on Khloe turning her into the ogre faced monster we know today. The only way the spell can be broken is if Khloe marries a large black man by midnight this Sunday. When she does she will turn back into a real girl!

The Kardashian Girls Love the Dark Meat

Jimmy Jihad — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:00:48 +0000

First he helped get O.J. off the hook for murder.

Then he was responsible for creating Kim Kardashian, which has helped no less than two brothers get laid (Reggie Bush and Ray J).

Now his daughter Khloe is dating Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom.

Clearly, Robert Kardashian should be given a posthumous NAACP award. The man has done more for blacks than anyone since Abe Lincoln.