As us Muslims know, most celebrities are not actually human, but rather shape-shifting reptilian creatures hell-bent on destroying the human race for the profit of the Zionists and the glory of their lord Satan.
Thanks to advancements in the Jew sciences of airbrushing and Photoshop, celebrities have been able to keep their horrible true forms hidden… until now.
As you can see in the before and after airbrushing photos below, the true nature of the heathen celebrities is finally revealed, and it is frightening.
Penelope Cruz
Madonna
Mariah Carey
Kourtney Kardashian
Keira Knightley
Jessica Alba
Faith Hill
Britney Spears
We have long suspected that Hollywood actresses were taking part in wild orgies, and now the photo above of Keira Knightley, Alyson Hannigan, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jessica Alba, and Eva Longoria all topless at a sex party appears to confirm this suspicion.
These Hollywood sluts are obviously the entertainment at some hot shot Jew producer’s orgy. They will spend the evening interacting with the guests, which is to say, getting their tits awkwardly fondled by limp-dicked Jews.
The evenings festivities will then climax when a gang of black hoodlums are brought in to rail the actresses, while the mouth-breather Hebrew guests suck each other off to the interracial spectacle. In other words typical Zionist behavior.
British actress Keira Knightley showed off her sexually ambiguous body in a bikini yesterday setting off a furious debate between Muslim clerics.
In one camp is the followers of cleric Anjem Mumbaddhi who, as more of a traditionalist, thinks that a fatwa should be issued against Keira Knightley calling for her stoning for brazenly showing her shameful female flesh in a bikini thus offending Allah.
However, opposed to this view are the followers of cleric Ali al-Timimadi who have taken the controversial stance that Keira Knightley’s body is totally unfeminine, so she should be allowed to show as much skin as she wants as she is practically a man and Allah would not mind seeing her nude form. Of course the Ali al-Timimadi faction still believes that Keira Knightley should be stoned, but only for having a distasteful lack of body hair and for starring in the movie “Domino”.
This debate should be a lively one once Keira Knightley is arrested and brought before a Shia court for crimes against morality. Regardless, of the ruling the outcome is not in question, so gentleman start collecting your rocks now. Allahu Akbar!
What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.
However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.
Al Gore
Carrie Fisher
Dane Cook
David Letterman
Gary Coleman
George Foreman
Heath Ledger
Jude Law
Keira Knightley
Kelsey Grammer
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Spacey
Lance Armstrong
Larry King
Madonna
Minnie Driver
Natalie Portman
Nick Cage
Orlando Bloom
Penelope Cruz
Sigourney Weaver
Tom Cruise
Tori Spelling
Wesley Snipes
Will Smith
Winona Ryder
