That title sounds pretty win-win, doesn’t it? Well, there’s a catch. The celebrities will only stop tweeting until $1 million is raised for Alicia Keys’ charity “Keep a Child Alive.” Celebrities voluntarily giving up social media until this charitable ransom is paid include: Lady GaGa, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Serena Williams, Elijah Wood, Ryan Seacrest and Kim Kardashian.
Damn Alicia Keys for making us choose between the health of impoverished children with AIDS and enjoying the absence of semi-hourly updates from Usher in our lives. That is why, we at Celeb Jihad suggest that someone start a charity identical to Mrs. Keys’, but require that celebrities tweet until it raises 1 million dollars at which time the celebrities will agree to never tweet again… and to commit suicide. The kids get helped, and we never have to hear from Elijah Wood about how much he enjoys the peanut butter from Trader Joe’s.
If you are interested in in donating to the cause, you can click here, but please, spread out your donations. We’d like to make it at least through the week without having to read anything resembling this.
One of the perks of being a celebrity is that you get to f*ck pretty much anything you want. Animal, vegetable, mineral, it is all game. So naturally with all that f**king going on celebrities have developed distinct “sex faces”.
We’ve been lucky enough to capture a few on camera, as well as some interesting sexual facts about some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. Enjoy!
Name: Mandy Moore
Interesting Sex Fact: Mandy is so uptight in bed that she has yet to achieve orgasm with a man. Horses on the other hand are a different story.
Name: Cameron Diaz
Interesting Sex Fact: Cameron enjoys babbling on about her day during sex.
Name: George Clooney
Interesting Sex Fact: Farts loudly during sex then pulls the cover over his partners head.
Name: Anne Hathaway
Interesting Sex Fact: Farts loudly during sex then pulls the covers over her own head.
Name: Gisele Bünchen
Interesting Sex Fact: Gisele favorite sexual move is called “The Dicaprio”… don’t tell Tom.
Name: Amy Winehouse
Interesting Sex Fact: Amy can only achieve orgasm after a vigorous session of anal fisting.
Name: Kristen Stewart
Interesting Sex Fact: During sex Kristen Stewart’s lower lip bites her.
Name: Tiger Woods
Interesting Sex Fact: Tiger Woods likes sex… a lot!
Name: Kristen Bell
Interesting Sex Fact: Kristen Bell can shoot a ping pong ball 50 feet out of her vah jay-jay
Name: Robert Pattinson
Interesting Sex Fact: Robert’s pubic hair is longer than his penis.
Name: Taylor Lautner
Interesting Sex Fact: Taylor has only 1 testicle, and it is small and misshapen.
Name: Katy Perry
Interesting Sex Fact: Katy tossed a girl’s salad… she didn’t like it.
Name: Heidi Montag
Interesting Sex Fact: Heidi cries during sex, and that just makes Spencer want to f*ck her harder.
Name: Kate Gosselin
Interesting Sex Fact: Kate feels no sensation in her vaginal region anymore.
Name: Justin Timberlake
Interesting Sex Fact: Justin greatly enjoys anal. Receiving not giving.
Name: Miley Cyrus
Interesting Sex Fact: Miley is a screamer. Her dad had to sound proof their house.
Hugh Laurie the actor who plays “House” on the Fox TV show “House” has a super secret crush on his cast mate Olivia Wilde.
When the cast has downtime they like to play the game FMK (Fuck Marry Kill) were each actor chooses someone they work with they would fuck, then someone they would marry, and finally someone they want to kill. Every time they play the game Hugh Laurie responds “Olivia Wilde to all three, but not necessarily in that order!”
This caused fellow cast member Omar Epps to call out Hugh for having a thing for Olivia. Hugh Laurie blushed profusely, and mumbled a half-hearted objection. All the other actors noticed and started singing the “Hugh and Olivia sitting in a tree” song. Which caused Hugh to run away to his dressing room in tears.
Later at recess Hugh walked up to Olivia and called her a poop face, so everyone could hear, then he proceeded to punch her in the arm before running off.
Rihanna continued her quest to snag Justin Timberlake from Jessica Biel by wearing this see through dress. Rihanna made sure to show that her booty can rival Jessica’s as far as shape and plumpness.
Justin Timberlake should go with Rihanna. He’s been stuck with Jessica Biel for years now he has to be tired of her. Besides Chris Brown already did the majority of the work in training Rihanna. Justin may just have to slap her every now and then, but she should be pretty well behaved.
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Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are on the rocks, Star Magazine is reporting. Sources close to Timberlake are speculating that the split is due to the fact that Timberlake is desperate to hit Rihanna.
“He really, really wants to hit that shit,” said a source close to Timberlake. “She’s well known for letting other guys hit that, so Justin knows he’s got a chance.”
The source continued, “I know Justin, and he would hit that shit hard, too. He’d just destroy her, and she’d be sore for weeks, that much is for sure. She might not even be able to walk right after he was done.”
When asked how far Timberlake would go to get a shot at Rihanna, the source said, “He’d do anything, even if it meant spending time in jail, just to hit that once.”
