What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.
However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.
Al Gore
Carrie Fisher
Dane Cook
David Letterman
Gary Coleman
George Foreman
Heath Ledger
Jude Law
Keira Knightley
Kelsey Grammer
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Spacey
Lance Armstrong
Larry King
Madonna
Minnie Driver
Natalie Portman
Nick Cage
Orlando Bloom
Penelope Cruz
Sigourney Weaver
Tom Cruise
Tori Spelling
Wesley Snipes
Will Smith
Winona Ryder
Jude Law’s Hooters waitress baby mama Samantha Burke recently released some photos documenting the growth of her meal ticket… I mean baby. Apparently women take these pics and make albums out of them to show their children how giving birth to them mangled their once tight bodies.
Celeb Jihad has obtained the full photo album with captions you won’t find anywhere else. Enjoy!
Me in my underwear looking all sexy for Jude.
I’m ready to get down to business!
Me giving Jude the condom I poked holes in ;)
Post coital bliss after Jude railed me on top of some cushions on the floor.
Clenching my legs closed so none of it leaks out.
Laying on the floor and having a well deserved smoke. I hope you like Virgina Slims because you’ll be getting a lot of them the next 9 months.
Yay I’m finally starting to get my baby bump. I feel just like Britney!
Look how small this bathroom is. As soon as you come we’ll have nice things. Cha Ching!
Me thinking about hot tubs, roman showers, and enormous vanities.
If you give me stretch marks I’m shipping you off to military school you little brat! Hehe!
