Jon Gosselin “wasn’t the best” in bed, according to the couple’s former nanny who also spent time moonlighting as a home-wrecking whore.
Stephanie Santoro, who claims to have had sex with Jon nine times, said that Jon “wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t the best I ever had.” I’m guessing that the best she’s ever had was the entire second-string defense for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
In all fairness to Jon, perhaps he was distracted by the nanny’s face, which obviously shows signs of Down’s. Also, it must have been hard for Jon to perform when his balls were locked up in Kate’s purse.
Jon Gosselin continued his tireless search for a new mommy for his 8 small children in Vegas last night, because that is the best place to look.
Sources close to Jon say that he is committed to finding a new Mom for his kids ever since the old one became so “annoying” and “unsexy”.
The source continued, “Jon doesn’t care how many clubs, bars, or truck stops he has to go to. He is going to find the new mommy his kids deserve. He is a real family man.”
Call it the case of the optimist vs. the pessimist, with Regis Philbin as Pollyanna, suggesting to Kate Gosselin on Thursday’s Live! With Regis & Kelly that one of these days her estranged husband Jon is going to come home with one of his new 20-something girls and propose a three way.
“Now” said Philbin, “what do you think about that?”
“Wow,” responded Gosselin, who looked as though her breath had been taken away.
After first joining in with the audience’s laughter, she said about her soon-to-be-ex Jon and herself: “We definitely have different goals at this point. A lot has changed. A lot of unexpected things have come up. It’s not ideal. And I can’t say you’re right at all.”
But Philbin pressed her on the subject. If Jon were to come back tomorrow, the TV host asked, and said, “Let’s put the past behind us. I want to have a three way with you and one of my much younger, more attractive girlfriends…what would you say to that?”
“I don’t think I can answer that,” she replied, as Philbin said she obviously needed time to think about that. Gosselin said, however, “A lot of our lives is public, but a lot is private, as well.”
If the couple did have a three way, Philbin then went on to wonder, wouldn’t all their marital problems go away?
“We can only go forward, we can’t go back,” said Gosselin. “I don’t think it would all go away at his point.”
This week’s broadcast of “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ marked the third-straight week of ratings decline for the show. The show is now averaging just as many viewers as it had the previous season, before the media took such an interest in these vapid cunts with their litter of half asians or halsians.
It is about time America stopped following this Jon and Kate bullshit. If you want to watch a wife and husband scream at each other all day visit my parent’s house. Not to mention that any woman who can squeeze out six kids at one time should be burned at the stake immediately. She’s a witch and she practices ghost magic.
