Just moments ago Michael Jackson was laid to rest at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood Hills. His casket was buried just a few feet away from the remains of his long-dead career.

Jackson’s career, which had been a major part of the singer’s life since 1964, passed away in 2003 after a prolonged 10-year bout with media saturation followed by cultural irrelevance.

“We all loved that career so much, and we were devastated when it died” said Jackson family patriarch Joe Jackson. “Michael’s death has reopened a lot of old, painful memories.”

As the family began to reminisce about the lucrative times they spent with Jackson’s career, brother Tito Jackson tried to point out that it was “Michael’s day.” His comments drew a cold response from family members, and a sharp rebuff from his father Joe.

“Boy, quit fool’n and get a switch,” said an irritated Joe Jackson, as he motioned his son toward a nearby tree. Without speaking, Tito pulled a small branch from the tree and handed it to his father who began to beat him about the backside.

The family is expected to attend a larger memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles this afternoon.

In an exclusive interview with CelebJihad, Jackson family patriarch Joe Jackson spoke candidly about the loss of his son, and about how his parenting style may have ultimately played a role in Michael’s tragic life and death.

“I’m not one to sit and dwell on the past, but at a time like this, when a father outlives his son, one can’t help but second guess,” said Jackson, speaking to us via cell phone from outside the 4 Play Gentleman’s Club in Los Angeles.

“I can’t help but wonder, if only I had beaten Michael harder, especially during puberty, perhaps he wouldn’t have turned into the grotesque pansexual pill-popping he-she boy lover which he became. If only I would have hit him with smaller tree branches, because the smaller ones hurt more, maybe he would have been normal.”

Jackson also lamented the fact that he did not have a chance for closure with his son.

“Looking back, there are so many unanswered questions,” said Joe. “What is the combination to the safe? Do you have any money hidden in foreign accounts? What’s with all these Jonas Brothers’ DVDs stacked up in that weird dungeon room?”

But despite his troubled past, Joe Jackson is focusing on the future.

“In the end, our lawyers and accountants can figure most of this stuff out, so it ain’t no thaaang!”

Added Joe, “Be sure to visit http://www.hiphopbootcamp.com/ to learn more about my hip hop boot camp. Michael would have wanted it.”

**World Exclusive**
**Must Credit CelebJihad.com**

CelebJihad has learned that Michael Jackson’s older brother Tito is alive!

The shocking discovery was made at 4:00 am on Saturday when relatives who had gathered at the Jackson family’s Encino estate received a strange phone call.

“The phone rang, and the guy on the other end was all like, ‘It’s Tito, I’m at the Grey Hound Station, can you come pick me up?’” said singer Janet Jackson. “I was all like, ‘Nice try asshole, but Tito’s been dead for years,’ and hung up on him.”

Added Janet, “He kept calling back, so I just left the phone off the hook.”

A source tells us Tito finally arrived at the estate hours later after convincing a family of migrant workers to give him a lift in the back of their pickup truck.

Once at the estate, family and friends were in “complete and utter shock” to see Tito alive and well.

“There was absolute chaos,” said one source close to the family. “People who thought he had been dead for years were screaming, ‘Zombie apocalypse! Run for your lives!’ Poor La Toya ran from the compound sobbing.”

Things finally settled down after brother Jermaine Jackson explained that while Tito’s career had been dead for many years, Tito himself was alive and well.

Most relatives were relieved by the explanation, with the notable exception of father Joe Jackson who said that Tito “shouldn’t have been fool’n.”

Added Joe, “Boy, go to the yard and get a switch.”