Jennifer Love Hewitt, who I believe is turning 56 years old today, celebrated her birthday by calling the paparazzi to her Malibu home so they could photograph her dressed up in an outfit that she thinks looks like something Lady Gaga would wear.

You know Jennifer Love Hewitt is getting old and out of touch if she thinks that outfit is even close to anything Lady Gaga would wear. Lady Gaga is much more likely to wear a leotard made out of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s pelt then 2 tutus and some pink leg warmers.

I can not wait for old lady Hewitt’s birthday costume next year. I bet she’ll come out in black face with her tits hanging out and bone through her nose and claim to be Beyonce.

Desperate for attention Jennifer Love Hewitt shows off her dumpy ass in some see through leggings.

Jennifer, let me just say that your whole I’m a cute little girlie girl thing doesn’t work anymore. What are you damn near 40 now? Grow the hell up, your only coming off as sad and pathetic.

But I’m not here just to knock you down JLH. I believe in you! I think you can whip that doughy body of yours back in shape and give us the hardcore nude scene we deserve. Think of it as your last hurrah.

We’ve put up with your “I’m innocent I can’t do nudity” act for years now while you’ve run around Hollywood getting nailed by any semi famous d-bag that would take you (John Mayer, Carson Daily, and Jamie Kennedy). You owe us some quality nudity. Have some pride and do the right thing.

Jennifer Love Hewitt continued her campaign to make girls feel like crap about their bodies in this month’s issue of Shape magazine.

As the picture above clearly shows Jennifer went on an airbrush diet for the cover. The bikini picture above is from just a few weeks ago. The only way she could have lost that many inches off her hips and thighs is if she contracted some sort of malicious gut worm.

So which is it Jennifer Love Hewitt, are you ashamed of your body despite all your claims that you are “proud of how you look”, or do you have worms?

Believe it or not the picture above is of Jennifer Love Hewitt. The poor woman looks like she has aged 20 years ever since she started dating Jamie Kennedy.

Imagine if your last chance at getting married and starting a family before your uterus falls out was a frumpy hack like Jamie Kennedy! Not only does she have to pretend to like sleeping with the bastard, but she has to laugh at his jokes. Let us remember that Jamie Kennedy is the guy who brought us such great comedic works as “The Mask 2″, “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment”, and “Malibu’s Most Wanted”.

I can picture their home life now. Jennifer comes home and Jamie greets her with his little wigger character voice “Hey girl! What up?” She has to force out a chuckle and a piece of her dies. Then his doughy ass climbs on top of her and humps her for all of 3 seconds before cumming and shouting “You’ve been X’d”. She then has to fake a orgasm and a laugh almost simultaneously. The stress must be unbearable!

The silver lining for Jennifer is that things could be worse. She could be with Carlos Mencia. In which case, according to our computer aging software, she’d currently look like this.