Well it took one whole day, but finally someone created a slow jam out of Tiger Woods voicemail to his mistress (one of many apparently) Jamiee Grubbs.

I must say it was worth the wait, this song is glorious! I am going to play it tonight while I make love to my many wives. Unlike Tiger I am a moral man and stay faithful to all 16 of my wives. I guess some of us are just born with a stronger moral character. Praise be to Allah!

Anyway turn down the lights, light some candles, and listen to the Tiger Woods Slow Jam Remix.

One of Tiger Woods “alleged” mistresses, Jamiee Grubbs, has released some texts and a voicemail she says are from Tiger. Here are the texts Woods allegedly sent to Grubbs,

“I will wear you out…when was the last time you got (bleeped)?”
*Hint the bleeped part is not “your pilates on”

“Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture).”
*The word “naughty” is open to interpretation. It is possible Tiger wanted her to take a picture of herself killing a cat or taking a dump.

If these texts weren’t damning enough for poor Tiger, the whore… I mean “mistress” also released a voicemail he left her warning her that his wife had gone through his phone, and begging her to take her name off her voicemail. Here is that voicemail…

Later in the evening Jaimee received a call from a blocked number which of course she answered. Jaimee claims the caller did not identify herself but said, “You know who this is because you’re f**king my husband.”

Jaimee responded, “that narrows it down to about 20 people could you be more specific?” (maybe she didn’t say that, but I bet she was thinking it)