Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. Socialite Peaches Geldof nodded off while being interviewed by some English TV host named Fearne Cotton for an upcoming celebrity TV show.
Just in case you don’t know who this Peaches chick is, I’ll make myself useful and tell you. Officially, she’s a British socialite, model, and reality TV host. Unofficially, she’s pretty much the UK’s version of Paris Hilton with more drugs, unnecessary tattoos, and Scientology: a waste of space, white trash with money, all that good stuff.
Oh but don’t worry, you guys. Peaches must have just gotten confused. The interview took place in the back of a taxi so Peaches’ drug-addled brain probably just assumed it was time to close her eyes and spread those legs.
Apparently, being a drugged up fame whore can get tiring sometimes. Mischa Barton will attest to that. But seriously, how much can you really expect from someone conceived by two hippies who decided it was okay to give her the obnoxiously long full name of Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof?
We caught up with Joe Piscopo on the set of his new film tentatively titled “My Shitty Vanity Project”.
CelebJihad: So, Joe, what made you get back into show business?
Joe Piscopo: What are you talking about? I’ve been working steady for 20 plus years now.
CelebJihad: Really?
Joe Piscopo: Obviously you haven’t seen many South Jersey car dealership commercials.
CelebJihad: Actually, I have an extensive collection of them.
Joe Piscopo: (Awkward Silence)
CelebJihad: Ok, so what brought about this latest project of yours? I understand you’re the writer, director, producer, and star of it.
Joe Piscopo: And I’m the craft service specialist.
CelebJihad: Sorry I missed that one.
Joe Piscopo: Well, after seeing that Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Adam Sandler all have unfunny movies coming out this summer I said to myself, “Hey Joe, you are twice as irrelevant and humorless as those guys! You should make a crappy movie too.”
CelebJihad: Interesting.
Joe Piscopo: Not to mention I have just as much, if not more, contempt for the American movie going public then Myers, Murphy, and Sandler combined! In fact, I guarantee my movie will deliver 200% more nut shots, midget jokes, gay jokes, and lame sexual innuendos than any of their films. We’re putting that right on the movie poster!
CelebJihad: Awesome. Can you tell me a little bit of what the story is about?
Joe Piscopo: What story? Who said anything about a story? This movie is two solid hours of clumsily setup and executed jokes! I might even throw in some played out pop culture references. Maybe I’ll call Britney Spears or Paris Hilton a skank.
CelebJihad: Why don’t you call them both skanks?
Joe Piscopo: That’s genius!
CelebJihad: Or better yet, call them cunts. Cunt is a funnier word then skank.
Joe Piscopo: Your damn right it is. Sorry to cut this interview short, but the grips looks like they’re getting antsy for their Starbucks. A craft service specialist’s job is never done.
