Taylor Lautner made headlines yesterday when someone leaked the People magazine cover for when he finally decides to come out as a gay. Upon hearing the news Taylor was overcome with the vapors, and when he finally composed himself he had his rep claim that the report was not true.

Thankfully we do not have to wait for Taylor Lautner’s inevitable “official” coming out party to denounce him as a vile sodomite that must be purged of his deviant homoqueer longings, for we have uncovered the video above of Taylor being extremely gay.

Taylor Lautner couldn’t be acting more gay in this video if he was listening to show tunes while sucking off a dude and taking his AIDS medication. If this video doesn’t remove the last bit of doubt that Taylor Lautner is a limp-wristed power bottom then nothing will.

Lead singer of Aerosmith and judge on American Idol, Steven Tyler has completed his transformation into a gay pirate.

Tyler who has long been confused about his sexual identity, (he even famously wrote a song about his struggles entitled “Dude Looks Like A Lady”) finally settled on being a gay pirate as a happy medium between gay man and ugly woman.

Now that Steven Tyler is a full blown gay pirate we can expect to see him in many more feminine puffy shirts, and to hear about him getting his “booty plundered” in a restroom at an airport Applebee’s. Obviously Steven’s best days lay ahead of him.

Guy’s guy Zac Efron was at it again being totally not gay at the Teen Choice Awards. This time the tough guy Efron maned it up by sporting blue nail polish and only a minimal amount of makeup.

Zac Efron couldn’t have looked more butch and heterosexual as he flailed his beautifully painted limp-wristed hands to the audience.

This should put to bed once and for all those nasty rumors that Zac Efron is gay, and that Vanessa Hudgens has been his beard for years while he goes around sucking c*ck at truck stop men’s rooms.

Now all you haters can clearly see that Zac Efron is a completely straight guy who loves painting his nails, styling his hair, singing musicals, and performing in plays and movies.

With the rumors running rampant that teen pop sensation Justin Bieber is a homosexual he faced them head on in a recent interview telling the reporter “I’m not gay! I’ve grabbed many girls’ c*cks!”

This should finally put to rest those Justin Bieber is gay rumors once and for all. The man clearly loves the ladies, and wants nothing more than to put stuff inside of them. In fact Justin wants it so bad he gets nauseous just thinking about it.

Sure Justin Bieber looks, talks, sings, and dances like he is gay, but believe him when he tells you he just loves girls and their big hard c*cks.

Foppish lady boy Taylor Lautner was photographed on the set of his new movie being shaded by a giant umbrella whilst getting a fan blown in his face.

Apparently while filming a scene Taylor Lautner came down with a case of the “vapors”. He tried dabbing a nice cool wet lace handkerchief to his forehead, but he still felt a swoon coming on.

Taylor was rushed under an umbrella were he was fanned and pampered. Luckily Taylor’s friend Ramon was on set, and he occupanied Taylor to his trailer with an emergency supply of fresh cut strawberries and chilled raspberry wine.

Six hours later Taylor Lautner was able to return work refreshed and relaxed, but with a noticeable limp.

Wow the coming out party for the young gay Disney stars continues. Following in the footsteps of Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez, Zac Efron confessed to Teen Vogue that he is very open to trying gay sex.

In the interview the 22-year-old Zac Efron talked about his new appreciation for sailing,

“I’d been before, but I wasn’t the one doing the sailing. I was playing Game Boy below deck. Now I’ve got such an appreciation for the sport.”

Now if that confession was not gay enough (and packed full of gay innuendos), Zac Efron went on to make another startling confession,

“My checklist is infinite. There’s nothing I wouldn’t try”

Wow how perverse! That was a round about way of doing it, but I am pretty sure that was Zac Efron finally coming out of the closet. However, I think he went a little overboard (pardon the pun) with his “There’s nothing I wouldn’t try” statement.

Until Zac is on the wrong end of some guy peeing on him or a good old fashioned extreme gay kickf*cking then he should not be making such a bold proclamation. Unless of course he has tried those things in which case…

For centuries man has pondered many important questions. I myself carry on this great philosophical tradition in between my prayer session when I often contemplate life’s important questions.

Oddly I usually end up spending a good deal of this thinking time wondering what constitutes a homosexual act. Just like earlier today when I was thinking about Brian Austin Green.

As I am sure you have heard by now Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox finally got married. That means that Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox can now consummate their relationship. Chances are that they have been consummating their relationship a lot in this so called “honeymoon” period.

Now if Brian Austin Green walked up to you in a restroom and offered you a handjob would you turn him down because that is gay? One could argue that technically getting a handjob from Brian Austin Green is like banging Megan Fox.

I mean you have to figure those manly fingers of his were probably inside of Megan within a few hours prior. Even if he washed his hands really well there is probably still a good amount of Megan Fox on them, so couldn’t you technically claim that getting a handjob from Brian Austin Green is akin to having sex with Megan Fox?

I don’t know, just throwing this out there for no reason in particular… I mean it is not like I had an encounter with Brian Austin Green in the bathroom at the Del Taco on Sunset or anything…