Lindsay Lohan Was Dating Heath Ledger When He Died

In the latest leaked tape by Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan, we learn that Lindsay was dating Heath Ledger at the time of his death.

In the 2008 tapes, Lindsay’s mom Dina tells Michael that Heath’s drug overdose devastated their daughter and “f***ed her up.” She is heard on the tape saying that,

“She was dating Heath when he died. I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?”

Lindsay dating Heath makes perfect sense because he was trying to hit rock bottom. Not to mention this would explain the large quantities of “stank puss” found during Heath’s autopsy.

Dina went on to say that she fears Lindsay may pull a Heath of her own.

“Because when she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking.”

Luckily for the Lohan’s their little meal ticket Lindsay is not nearly talented enough to die young like Heath Ledger, James Dean, or River Phoenix. No, unfortunately Lindsay will live to be a ripe old whore.

Posted by Durka Durka on Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Filed under Celeb Jihad, Heath Ledger, Lindsay Lohan · Tagged with Dating, death, died, Dina Lohan, Heath Ledger, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan, tapes

What If Celebrities Became Their Names?

What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.

However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.

Al Gore

Carrie Fisher

Dane Cook

David Letterman

Gary Coleman

George Foreman

Heath Ledger

Jude Law

Keira Knightley

Kelsey Grammer

Kevin Bacon

Kevin Spacey

Lance Armstrong

Larry King

Madonna

Minnie Driver

Natalie Portman

Nick Cage

Orlando Bloom

Penelope Cruz

Sigourney Weaver

Tom Cruise

Tori Spelling

Wesley Snipes

Will Smith

Winona Ryder

Posted by Durka Durka on Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Filed under Al Gore, Carrie Fisher, Celeb Jihad, Dane Cook, David Letterman, Exclusive, Gary Coleman, George Foreman, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Keira Knightley, Kelsey Grammer, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Spacey, Lance Armstrong, Larry King, Madonna, Minnie Driver, Natalie Portman, Nick Cage, Orlando Bloom, Penelope Cruz, Sigourney Weaver, Tom Cruise, Tori Spelling, Wesley Snipes, Will Smith, Winona Ryder · Tagged with Al Gore, Carrie Fisher, Dane Cook, David Letterman, Gary Coleman, George Foreman, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Keira Knightley, Kelsey Grammer, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Spacey, Lance Armstrong, Larry King, Madonna, Minnie Driver, Natalie Portman, Nick Cage, Orlando Bloom, Penelope Cruz, Sigourney Weaver, Tom Cruise, Tori Spelling, Wesley Snipes, Will Smith, Winona Ryder