Jason Sudeikis is goofy looking and untalented, yet he has banged some of heathen Hollywood’s choicest pieces of ass including Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, January Jones, and current girlfriend Olivia Wilde.

How has this nothing of a man pulled off such an impressive (by infidel standards) feat? Is he secretly a Muslim? Certainly that would explain his success with the ladies.

After consulting with the wisest clerics it has been determined that Jason Sudeikis is no Muslim, but that Jason’s secret then must be that his penis is made out of chocolate and it ejaculates diamonds.

Is Taylor Swift trying to become the new Hugh Hefner? If this picture of her showing up at the CMT awards with 6 slutty lesboqueer girlfriends is any indication the answer is a resounding yes.

Taylor Swift’s appetite for the ladies is well documented as she has been romantically linked to everyone from Selena Gomez to Katy Perry, so this latest act of brazen lesbianism should come as no surprise.

Clearly Taylor Swift is one horny dyke who enjoys the company of multiple women, probably staying up all night caressing each others nude bodies, licking, sucking, fingering, and scissoring until they collapse into a big pile of exhausted nakedness. Just the thought of it makes me ill, may Allah smite Taylor Swift soon and most righteously!

Taylor Swift is seen in the photograph above big pimping with 2 new girlfriends.

Taylor Swift is one of Hollywood’s biggest lesbian playgirls, so it should come as no surprise that she is dating multiple women at once. However, the picture above does beg the question of whether Taylor choose a brunette and a redhead, so that when they are all in bed licking each other they would look like a neapolitan ice cream. I say yes!

Regardless of the reasons, Taylor Swifts brazen lesboqueer activities are an offense to us Muslims. However, her days are numbered as soon Islam will conquer the West and Sharia law will issue shift and severe punishment on the likes of Taylor Swift and her lesbian ilk. Allahu Akbar!

Is lesbian lovers Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato’s relationship on the rocks? According to this picture Selena just twittered the answer is yes!

Selena posted this picture of her and another unknown lesbian girl passed out cold from all the vigorous lesbian sex they must have been having. This can only mean one thing, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato have broken up, and Selena is going through her post break up “lick anything that moves” stage.

There is obviously still feelings between Selena and Demi or Selena would not have bothered tweeting this picture to make Demi jealous. Allah willing they will work it out… and make a sex tape together when they are 18.

Well it is official Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez are definitely lovers. Just look at these pics of the two of them together. The only thing that could make these pics more lesbianish is if there was some lube and a giant strap-on lying casually off to the side.

Based on my mastery of subtle body language I have been able to determine that Demi is the “man” in the relationship. Notice how Selena clutches Demi and fawns over her like a typical emotionally unstable woman. While Demi for her part keeps a calm cool masculine demeanor.

Also these pictures include so many lesbian sexual innuendos it is ridiculous. First the girls are laying on a shaggy carpet! I don’t think I have to draw it out for you people… ahm carpet munching. While laying on the carpet Demi and Selena share a non-cordless phone. Who uses a non-cordless phone anymore? I’ll tell you who, lesbians! The cord is a metaphor for the double sided dildo that they probably share every night.

The rest of the photos have even more obvious lesbian sexual innuendos. Like the girls taking turns resting their heads on each others laps, them walking hand in hand on a beach, and my personal favorite them lying head to head waiting for the other to mount them for a furious session of 69ing.

These pictures leave little doubt. Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez are dating. Now if we could only get a few shots of them scissoring or listening to K.D. Lang together we’d have full confirmation.