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New Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Voicemail Remix

Durka Durka — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 16:42:43 +0000

Tiger Woods and Nike caused a great deal of controversy yesterday with a new commercial which features Tiger awkwardly staring into the camera as the voice of his dead father Earl Woods berates him from beyond the grave.

Many are outraged at Tiger for exploiting his dead father to get forgiveness from the consumer masses. I however do not blame Tiger for the ad, but am instead furious at Nike. This commercial would have been a million times better if they would of had the audio from Tiger’s voicemail to that whore, were he begs her to take her name of her voicemail playing, while he makes that stupid face.

Luckily for the marketing whiz kids at Nike someone on the Internet had the savvy to replace their ineffective audio with the Tiger Wood’s voicemail. See for yourself how great this Nike commercial is now below.

Jay Leno Admits April Fool’s Joke: Only Conan Got Screwed

Jimmy Jihad — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:10:04 +0000

Funny man Jay Leno has done it again with another hilarious joke at Conan O’Brien’s expense. During an interview with noted Mossad agent Joy Behar, Leno claimed that both he and Conan “got screwed” by NBC. But just hours later, Leno explained that it was an April Fool’s joke, and that clearly Conan was the only one who got screwed.

“Obviously I was kidding, since I didn’t get screwed at all,” said Leno. “I got my show back, I’m number one in the ratings, things have never been better.”

Added Leno, “I’d have to have some really huge balls to come out and pretend I was somehow a victim. Can you imagine? Anyway, gotcha!”

New Twilight Movie Trailer ‘Vampires In Heat’

Durka Durka — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:19:16 +0000

As hormonally charged teen girls and emotionally stunted women pile into theaters to see the new Twilight movie “New Moon”, the trailer for the next Twilight movie “Vampires In Heat” was just released to the Internet.

This movie looks awesome! And by awesome I mean erotic. There is nothing more sexually appealing then a bunch of vampires in heat for a teen girl. They are so going to drive a stake into her.

Watch this trailer for Twilight: “Vampires In Heat” it is hilarious.

Inappropriate Movie Laugh Tracks

Jimmy Jihad — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:47:51 +0000

The “laugh track” has a long and storied history of letting morons know when to laugh. But when paired with the wrong footage, the use of a laugh track becomes highly inappropriate.

The Deer Hunter

See the rest of the clips at ScreenJunkies.com…

Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes

Durka Durka — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:17:41 +0000

Ted Kennedy the beloved murdering alcoholic from Massachusetts has died of brain cancer. Let us honor his memory with some dead Ted Kennedy jokes.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Teddy Kennedy? About 2 months of decay!
Ted Kennedy has been sober for 12 hours now.
Ted Kennedy carries on the tradition of his brothers by dying with something lodged in his brain.
What did Teddy tell Mary Jo when he found out she was pregnant? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I wonder if Ted Kennedy’s funeral will be open bar?
Ted also had a plan to stimulate the Auto industry but his program was called “cash for kerplunkers”.
How did people find out Ted was dead? He didn’t show up to the bar this morning.
I’d rather go hunting with Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy.
Ted Kennedy never became president because unlike George Washington, he couldn’t cross a river.
Ted is dead, its all just water under the bridge now.
With news of Ted’s death, the Massachusetts liquor industry is now going to need a bailout.
What’s black, white and hungry? Ted Kennedy’s cat!

Dead Michael Jackson Jokes

Durka Durka — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:30:33 +0000

I do not know what would be more appropriate right now then jokes about Michael Jackson dying. If you have any to add do so in the comments section.

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.
Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.
Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.
In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.
Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.
I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.
Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.
Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.
MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.
It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.
In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.
Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.
Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.
Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.
Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!
Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”
What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!
Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.