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Gary Busey is the most interesting man in the world. But unlike the guy from the Dos Equis ad campaign, Gary Busey does not drink beer. He only drinks the wine that he distills from orange peels and motor oil in his bath tub. |
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Before he had a life-altering epiphany, Gary Busey killed an endangered African Elephant with a broken Orangina bottle because he wanted to make a tie rack and a shoe horn out of its tusks (he has since donated them to charity). |
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Growing up in the mountains in Honduras, Gary Busey’s parents had to hire personal security. The 60’s were a crazy time. |
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Sorry to disappoint, but the story about Busey saving those twin babies and their paraplegic Saint Bernard from that gas leak explosion isn’t entirely true. The dog actually had partial mobility in its back legs. |
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Gary Busey had a dream about the invasion of Grenada two years before it happened. No one listened. |
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Gary Busey has a vastly superior sense of vision due to years of honing his expert falconry skills. |
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Gary Busey’s favorite memory was being born> It was really intense. |
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Gary Busey has an immense hatred towards Lance Armstrong for no particular reason. |
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For the last 32 years Gary Busey has worked hard to build an immunity to VX nerve gas. |
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Gary Busey’s most embarrassing memory was when in high school he was visiting the San Diego Zoo and he tripped on the escalator right near the pterodactyl cages. |
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Gary Busey makes all of his own clothes out of recycled helicopter parts. |
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The concept of “Falcor” from “The Never Ending Story” was born from one of Gary Busey’s sketches. |
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One time in Nepal Gary Busey fashioned a barricade from logs, stones and banana leaves and saved a village from a mudslide. |
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Gary Busey sleeps with a sniper rifle and a copy of “Horton Hears A Who” under his bed. |
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Gary Busey always carries a photo of Cap’n Crunch in his wallet. |
10) Gary Busey’s diet consists almost entirely of bark and dolphin meat.
9) In 2004 the city of Newport Beach selected Gary Busey to host the annual Newport Autism Charity Banquet, an honor that caused him to boil his pets in disgust.
8) Gary Busey has a strong fear of the handicapped.
7) Gary Busey will only speak to people who are his exact same height.
6) One of Gary Busey’s favorite pastimes is sneezing in other people’s homes.
5) Gary Busey’s favorite digging stance is orthodox.
4) Gary Busey has binocular vision.
3) Gary Busey has a DNA fetish.
2) A woman once tried to sass Gary Busey for running over her dog. He threw a cup of urine in her face and attempted to baptize her.
1) Gary Busey has fucked over 50 different types of mammals.
By now everyone has heard the Chuck Norris facts. There have even been copycat Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Lost in all this hype are the facts about the greatest American hero of America. Of course I am talking about Corky from the hit TV series “Life Goes On”.
Corky wears a helmet not for his protection, but for yours!
Corky thinks cats are friendly animals.
Corky only rides the short bus because it handles better.
Corky can read! …sort of.
Corky’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he is retarded.
Corky once counted to 47… on his chromosomes.
Corky can eat his own farts.
Corky thinks you’re retarded.
Corky eats grass… because somebody has to.
Corky’s favorite food is blue, and his favorite color is 7.
Too Corky bitches ain’t nothing but tricks and hoes.
If you ask Corky he’ll tell you the secret to peace in the Middle East is “happy rainbow kisses”.
Corky once hugged Chuck Norris. He did nothing.
Corky thinks Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rain Man is “a real smartass”.
Corky once took a shit in a pool.
Corky likes tacos.
Strobe lights make Corky cum… a lot!
Corky once threw feces at a monkey that was giving him the evil eye.
Corky is so retarded that even his penis’s head is small and abnormally shaped.
Corky wrote a song about the corn in his stool.
Corky is just like you, he puts his pants on one leg at a time. The only difference being his are on backwards and covered in various bodily fluids.
