Mel Gibson is being unfairly attacked by the Zionist controlled media. The Zionists have a long standing feud with Mel after he exposed their wickedness to police a few years ago while being arrested for a DUI saying,

“F*cking Jews… Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”

Now those same Jews have Mel Gibson in their cross hairs. Mel is having a bit of a spat with some Russian whore he mistakenly impregnated with his super sperm, and he left her a voice mail to show his displeasure with the mother of his child dressing like a gutter skank.

This is a perfectly reasonable thing for a man to do, however the Jews are taking Mel’s words and are trying to use them to paint him in an unflattering light. Specifically this line from the recording,

“You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”

Sure out of context this looks bad for Mel, but what he is really doing is reminding his wife to bring a basketball with her when she goes out. Everyone knows that the only thing that will stop a gang of rape hungry n***ers is to throw them a basketball. It is actually quite sweet that while reprimanding his baby mama, Mel still shows concern for her safety.

In another recording Mel Gibson is heard telling his baby mama that,

“I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.”

Again the Zionists are trying to twist this into some sort of sexist remark when this is obviously just a bit sexy dirty talk between Mel and his whore. Why just the other night I told one of my wives to “garble my balls before I take a blow torch to your tits”, and if I allowed my women to have orgasms you better believe she would have had one right then and there.

It is painfully obvious that Mel Gibson is under attack by the Zionist controlled media. We must show our support for this great man, and hope he can withstand these filthy Jew tricks. Allahu Akbar!

Let me spell it out for you people. I’ll type s-l-o-w-l-y. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did NOT split up and they are NOT getting a divorce.

Oh I know they said they are “separating”, but I also have a normal number of chromosomes so I know an obvious publicity stunt when I see one.

Heidi and Spencer’s show “The Hills” gets canceled. Heidi announces she is leaving Spencer, and the very next day she announces that she is getting her own “reality” show on MTV. That doesn’t set off any red flags with you people?

I would bet my collection of goat testicles that Heidi’s show ends in a “cliff hanger” of her deciding whether or not to get back with Spencer. She of course will and the producers will hope that they have a strong enough “girl drama” storyline to carry the ratings through to a 2nd season.

All you stupid Americans who believe celebrity gossip are getting played. You need to open your mind to how the system works. How do you not notice that when actresses have movies coming out that they are suddenly photographed in a bikini spread eagle on a beach or having alleged passionate love affairs with actors who also just so happen to have movies coming out?

The majority of celebrity gossip is planted bullsh*t designed to get you consumed with celebrity lives so that they can sell you crap. Celeb Jihad will continue to expose the truth until you infidels realize that your Zionist masters in Hollywood are making fools out of you, and that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.

Sandra Bullock is a disloyal wife. Even after Jesse James was guilted by the Zionist media into issuing that ridiculous public apology for exercising his Allah given right as a man to pillage any woman’s vijeen he wants, Sandra still has not resumed her role at his side and instead moved out of his house in Long Beach.

When Jesse purchased Sandra from her father for a dowry I imagine consisted of a fair amount of goats since she is a useful working woman in the movies, she swore to be his loyal servant for all his days and then when he passes to take her own life on top of his grave so that her body will decompose and serve as fertilizer for the flowers placed there.

However, now Sandra Bullock is using this Jesse James plowing some whore story to forsake her wifely obligations. I don’t see why Sandra should be upset at all. Last time I checked she was the only wife in Jesse James harem. How much attention does one woman need!?!

I think it is about time Jesse James maned up and tracked down Sandra, smacked her around, and dragged her back to his home. He may also considering taking her clit for humiliating him with this public temper tantrum.

Tiger Woods and his estranged wife Elin Nordegren have been cast in a new movie. The film which is scheduled to begin shooting in February is a sequel to the popular “Broke Back Mountain” franchise tentatively titled “Broke Black Golfer”.

In the movie Tiger will play a cowboy golfer with a penchant for whores… lots of whores. Elin will play his cowgirl wife who is stuck at the ranch watching the little ones as Tiger goes out on his late night “roundups”.

The movie’s climax comes when a group of bandits storm the ranch while Tiger is in town fingering a bar maid. Elin fights them off with her trusty 9-iron. When Tiger returns home stinking of cigarettes and Astroglide Elin has finally had enough and she smashes Tiger’s face with a 3-wood. The movie ends with Elin divorcing Tiger and getting a 300 million dollar settlement. It’s a real tearjerker.

In preparation for his upcoming divorce Tiger Woods has sought the help of the medical community to justify his adulterous actions. CelebJihad has obtained an official diagnosis that found Woods is a victim of “restless 3rd leg syndrome,” a disease commonly found in men over 30 that frequently travel and engage in contact with cocktail waitresses.

The official syndrome is described as a sleep disorder characterized by 3rd leg discomfort during sleep, which can only be relieved by finding a warm pocket of strange and banging away at it. Victims of this disorder are known to be so affected that they will risk a billion dollar empire in exchange for a five-minute romp with a skanky restaurant hostess.

Woods is expected to use this diagnosis in divorce court to prove that he was not at fault in the destruction of his marriage and blame his wife, Elin, for not supporting him in his battle with the disease.

Madonna‘s divorce from Guy Ritchie is well underway, and CelebJihad.com has obtained a copy of the prenuptial agreement. Buckle up and enjoy exclusive access to all the shocking details!

	Ritchie will retain ownership of the couple’s estate in London, while Madonna will keep her home at Snake Mountain on the dark side of Eternia. She will also retain custody of the evil feline known only as Panthor.
	Madonna will continue to pay Ritchie a monthly stipend of $5000 dollars for a specially designed toothpaste that removes the taste of Warren Betty/Sean Penn/Sandra Bernhardt’s dick from his mouth.
	Ritchie will be granted joint custody of the couple’s children, with the exception of “dat lil’ mow mow wanker. Black as thee ace of spades, ‘e is!”
	Guy Ritchie shall regain full custody of his balls. Madonna waives all visitation rights.
	Madonna shall retain the publishing rights to “Material Girl,” along with all other material possessions, including, but not limited to, the material world we are living in.
	If Madonna fucks A-Rod, she shall have to wear a scarlet colored “A-ROD” on her chest. If Guy Ritchie fucks A-Rod, he shall have to wear a pink colored “GAY-ROD” on his chest. ZING!!!
	Madonna is no longer allowed to wear her “My Lemons Get Squeezed by a Limey Twat” tee-shirt.
	If the divorce is due to Ritchie’s infidelity, Madonna shall have the right to shove no less than seventeen Kabbalah crystals up his ass.
	If the divorce is due to Madonna‘s infidelity, Ritchie shall have the right to remove no more than seventeen Kabbalah crystals from her ass.
	Ritchie will retain custody of the estimated 37,500 unsold copies of Madonna‘s 1992 book, “Sex.” Although Madonna herself will keep prototype copies and publishing rights for the unfinished sequel, “Sex with a Disgusting Old Saddlebag.”
	Madonna will lose custody of her adopted British accent, although she will have visitation rights on Boxing Day, and whenever she is drinking.
	Ritchie waives all claims to heir of the throne of Neumodeada and will sign a non-disclosure agreement pertaining to Madonna’s yearly ceremony at the solstice, wherein her 1000 year old bones turn to dust and she is reborn from the carcass of viper fish.
	Madonna’s vagina is to be donated to astronomers who are anxious to study the effects of black holes on washed-up film directors.