Breaking news! Kelly Clarkson is still fat!

Celeb Jihad was first to report Kelly Clarkson was fat a few months ago. Now we are shocked to find that we are still right.

The picture above is a very recent picture of Kelly Clarkson. As you can see the singer is wandering around looking for salad dressing to pour into her “feeding bowl”. To the left an assistant hands Kelly her 2 o’clock bag of potato chips.

Many Kelly Clarkson apologists will unjustly attack me and say things that don’t make any sense like “she still looks good” and “she’s not fat”. To them I present the following before and after photo.

Now tell me Kelly hasn’t become Fattie McFatso!

Actually we have pinpointed the exact moment Kelly went from being “chunky” into full on lard ass here.

Notice how she dislocates her jaw like a python so she can swallow the hot dog faster.

It is a shame that Kelly Clarkson has gotten so fat, because she is a good singer. Now no one will listen to her music. There is nothing the American public hates more than celebrities that look like, well, average Americans.

Americans only like celebrities that make them feel inferior and physically inadequate, so they have someone to look up to and emulate. It is pretty pathetic actually.

Jessica Simpson vows to be thin again! Sure Tony Romo deserves the bulk of the credit for dumping her, but I can not help but feel that my constant ridicule of her fat ass may have a played a small part. So kudos to me!

According to a friend of Jessica, “Right after Tony ended things, Jessica said, ‘I want my old body back,’ She went into her kitchen, got a trash bag and started to clear it out.”

“Jess is serious about getting her body back into fighting shape,” the buddy continues. “Working out is helping to give her focus and clear her head. It’s better than sitting around moping or throwing pity parties with ice cream sundaes.”

I really don’t care how many times Jessica has to stick her finger down her throat to lose the weight just so long as she does. It is like I tell my pregnant wives, “don’t tell me about the pain just show me the baby!” Lets celebrate with some pics of what we have to look forward to. A hot thin Jessica Simpson!