The picture above confirms what many of us have long suspected, that Nickelodeon star Victoria Justice worships Satan.

This should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed Victoria Justice’s career. What else but a deal with the Devil could account for this talentless, moderately attractive, Cuban drifter girl having a semi-successful career in Hollywood?

Victoria Justice may think being a Satan worshiper is cool now, but when her time comes and she has to spend eternity burning in the hellfire surrounded by Jews, she’ll be wishing she had served the only true faith, Islam. Allahu Akbar!

Emma Watson continued on with her crusade to corrupt children by getting a large tattoo on her arm.

After spending most of her life trying to make magic and devil worship “cool” to kids with her Harry Potter movies, Emma Watson is now focusing her sick child corrupting instincts on getting kids hooked on tattoos.

As you can see in the picture above Emma Watson just got a large tattoo on her shoulder, and she looks pretty pleased about it. I can not say for sure what the tattoo is of, but I am willing to wager that it is some form of satanic symbol.

Anyway Emma is clearly hoping that children will see this photo and steal money from their parents, sneak out of the house, and go to a back alley tattoo artist to get one of their own.

Parents must protect their children from Emma Watson’s corrupting influence. I suggest fiercely beating your child if you find that he/she shows any interest in Emma Watson or the Harry Potter movies.

Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson (pictured above) went on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s “700 Club” today, and shared some controversial thoughts as to why the earthquake struck Haiti:

“And you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it.

“They were under the heel of the French, uh, you know Napoleon the 3rd and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the Devil.

“They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’

“True story.

“And so the Devil said, ‘Okay, it’s a deal.’

“And, uh, they kicked the French out, you know, with Haitians revolted and got themselves free, but ever since they have been cursed”

Despite his rapid aging Robert Pattinson is finally starting to think with a clear head, and understand how the greatness that is Allah works. Allah is a vengeful God. If there is one thing he hates (besides American freedom) it is Haitians. Allah will not rest until every Haitian on earth suffers a horrible death. Praise be to his name!

By Muhammad’s beard! Britney Spears has just admitted to worshiping Satan! Brit said the following on her Twitter account,

We here at Celeb Jihad have worked tirelessly to warn the masses that all celebrities are Satan worshiping shape shifting reptiles, hell-bent on world domination. Now the truth comes out!

Britney was not done there though, she hit us one more time with this doozy of a twat,

“I hope that the new world order will arrive as soon as possible! – Britney”

With Barack Obama being the first celebrity President (I don’t count Ronald Reagan because his movies sucked), I’m afraid this world is doomed.

The righteous among us must build rocket ships and blast off into space, trusting that Allah will guide us to a more hospitable planet with no celebrities… or Jews.